All Alone

~Chapter 21~

The only thing that matters to me now is Laura, I really want her to be happy.

"Luke, hindi ko na kaya" Laura was crying beside me, nasa apartment niya ako ngayon dahil tinawagan niya ako.

"Cry.. Let it all out" I said seriously while looking at her eyes. Nasanay na ako na laging umiiyak si Laura dahil nga sa nakaraan niya. It was hard to lose your parents after all, dahil sila ang bumuhay sayo at ang karamay mo. I feel bad seeing Laura being sad I don't know how to make her happy because I know that she already give up on her happiness.

Those pain, trauma and the damage that she felt because of the past keeps haunting her, she can't escape it.

"Luke don't leave me, promise me that okay??" The look in her eyes was desolate.

"I can't promise you anything, because if i promise you you'll only get hurt" I said, ayokong masaktan si Laura lalo na alam kong hindi lahat ng pangako ay nagkakatotoo. She's already hurt, ayoko dagdagan ang sakit na nararamdaman niya. I really want her to be free, where there is no one who can harm her.

"Luke, you're the only person who I can trust with" she mentioned, hindi ako nagsalita nung sinabi niya yun.

Natahimik kami at tanging iyak niya lang ang naririnig ko sa bawat segundo, Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya i cocomfort hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako nandito kung hindi naman ako marunong gumawa ng mga advice.

"Laura" Banggit ko, lumingon naman siya sa akin at naghihintay ng sasabihin ko.

"hmm??"

"What if, all of these never happenned? do you think you're happy?" I asked, lagi kong naiisip na kung hindi nangyari lahat nang ito susuko pa rin kaya si Laura sa kasiyahan at buhay niya?

"No, I'm sure there is still sadness wrapped around my life even if these never happen" she said seriously. I notice how her actions looks different.

"Sana sumaya na ang mundo mo, sana kapag masaya kana kasama mo pa ako" banggit ko.

Ever since we graduated, I enjoyed going to bars. Dahil sa pamilya ko kaya ako nandito lagi wala naman silang pakialam kung malaman nila na andito ako. I chose to be a bad kid just for them to notice me. They never showed that they love me, lagi nalang si Kyle ang gusto nila. How about me?? I'm I not existing in their world? I'm I invisible?

To be honest, hirap na hirap na ako. Lagi nalang ako ang andyan sa kahit sino Laura, Zac, Ally and my other friends. Kapag tinatawagan nila ako sige agad ako, but I become so selfless to the point that I can't even have a time for myself. Hindi ko kilala ang sarili ko but people would always say that I'm so selfish at isang tarantado na nabubuhay sa mundong 'to.

Pero bakit? bakit puro pagkakamali lang ang nakikita nila? paano naman yung mga nagagawa kong tama? saan napupunta 'yun? kapag nakagawa ka ng tama hindi nila napapansin pero kapag nagawa mo na ang mali dun ka nila makikita bigla. Bakit? iba naba ang tingin ng tao sa tama o mali?

"Luke, I'm going to spain" my mom said whie she's putting her gold earrings, lagi nalang siya nasa spain hindi naman niya kami naalagaan nang maayos dito sa pinas.

"Then go, bakit kailangan mo pa mag paalam" I said harshly, i was sitting in the sofa while scrolling at my phone. Alam kong mali ang maging bastos sa magulang, but they don't even care about it.