The M.D.C. Handbook

hq get a clue

Now I'm going to talk about Wattpad HQ and the new changes they're initiating. So, the MDC is a great way for artistically inclined people to get together and create, right? It's literally the center of artistry on this site, and EVERYONE relies on it.

Not everyone is affected by the silly games they play in the Cafe, or the writing tips they trade in the Improve Your Writing.

But, Multimedia Designs hits everyone.

Look around you! Almost every cover you see was made by a designer in the MDC. Then, there's the profile headers and icons on everyone's bio that were probably made by a designer in the MDC. Without story ads and trailers, no one would be able to properly promote their writing in a way that gets people's attention. Without us, without this club, Wattpad would be boring and probably only have one sixteenth of the users it has right now. No, even less than that.

So, I don't get why WP HQ insists on treating the MDC and its designers like garbage.

I need a numbered list for this.

1. The profile headers.

I've hated these little shits since it's alcohol-induced incarnation. What's the mathafakkan point of SPENDING AN HOUR on a profile header just to have the site auto-fuckitup. These headers show up as dim, and blurry af, practically ruining the quality of our work that we strive to achieve. BUT NO, WP expects us all to put hipster stock photos on our profiles rather than actual artwork. Have they forgotten about us? Don't they realize we HATE having the quality of our work shit on? Same goes for covers and icons. It's not as bad in this department, but I'm sure WP is capable of doing SOMETHING that makes the picture quality on covers and icons better than the pixely shit we've got now.

2. New reading format.

Where's my cover? Where's my cover? *takes off shirt* Where's my fucking cover, bruh?

Oh, there it is... zoomed in 95% and blurred as fuck.

Oh, but the real one is all tiny and in that corner there. What, you don't see it? Just squint your eyes. Still? Okay lean in closer. PRESS YOUR FACE AGAINST THE GLASS, KEVIN.

I am mad.

I love the covers I make, and the fact that my readers (and my customer's readers) can't even see them while they're reading makes me real ticked off. Instead, they put more emphasis on the chapter image which sucks, too because I don't have the goddamn time to give every chapter a chapter image, woman! PLUS, MOST OF MY CHAPTER IMAGES ARE MEANT TO BE VIEWED AFTER THE FUCKING CHAPTER OR ELSE IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Again, WP just wants us to use Those Fucking Hipster Stock Photos for these chapter images.

3. STICKERS ARE FOR SCRAPBOOKS AND DOCTORS VISITS.

We are you selling out, Wattpad? WHYYY? What do you possibly need money for? All these upgrades no one asked for? Well, fuck you then. F-U-C-K Y-O-U.

You're literally covering our prized covers with big ass movie stickers that take up half the cover so that people can't even read the title. You're defacing our work, practically telling us what we create doesn't matter and what does matter is MONEY AND COMMERCIALISM.

Are they asking for consent from the writers? For fucks sake, they should be asking for consent from the designers.

I've got one thing left to say on the matter:

NO ONE wanted to see The Duff. NO ONE wants to see Unfriended. IF YOU'RE GOING TO SELL OUT THIS HARD FOR GOD'S SAKE AT LEAST USE GOOD MOVIES.

4. The only thing Wattpad ISN'T improving is the part that needs it the most.

The forums, guys! What about the forums. I know you don't think the forums are that important, but it's literally the one thing that sets you apart from other writing sites. Why aren't you listening to our voices? Like giving us a scroll bar for our subscriptions, "like" buttons on posts, and a searchbar for threads we want to find? MAYBE THROW SOME OF THAT DIRTY DUFF MONEY OUR WAY FOR A CHANGE, EH?

For god's sake, how come threads don't get automatically deleted when they're been closed/inactive for a long time? The MDC literally has like 100,000 pages of threads LIKE THAT'S GOT TO TAKE UP ROOM ON THE SERVER, AMIRITE?

And, the mods. WP, you tried to micromanage us with all your new rules, but it didn't work because there's literally like 3 ACTIVE MODS IN THE MDC RN. It's chaos. Plus, the mods hate the MDC, too. (A lot of them, at least.) I remember one mod ranting about how he hates the MDC because it's just "a bunch of kids taking copyrighted photos, adding text, and calling it their artwork." UM BITCH SAYS WHAT? Most of us work really hard to create complex, skilled artwork using Photoshop techniques, photo manipulation, and sometimes even original artwork. It's not slaptext. Don't freakin generalize me honey.

Alas, even if WP changes the forums it will just be to make it look different instead of tackling the real problems.

In conclusion here, I know Wattpad claims to want to "appeal to a greater majority of users," but that doesn't mean stroking the readers and taking a shit on the designers. We aren't asking for much here! I'm sure the readers wouldn't mind un-blurred profile headers. I'm sure the readers wouldn't mind the EXECUTION OF THOSE GOD FORSAKEN STICKERS.

I mean, I wish there was just a way to hack into Wattpad and take down all the cover images--literally turn them all into blank white images. It will be sort of a "cover strike." And, WP would realize how important us designers really are.

God I wish I was a hacker.

Gee Wattpad, thanks for turning into America by oppressing and shitting on the blue-collar workers, the backbone of your society. I thought you guys were made in Canada. You make me sick.