I Thought You Could Help Me

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(Geralt x Eskel x Lambert
WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR THE WITCHER S2)

He should have known, he should have known something was wrong. Why didn't he? Eskel would never act like how he did, he wouldn't go to punch him. Why didn't he notice? Why didn't he do something?

It was too late now, it was too late. Eskel is gone, he killed him. He murdered him, and he couldn't even shed a tear. Vesemir kept telling him that he did what he could, but he felt like he could have saved him. Eskels words rang though his head, the last thing he said to him. "I though you could help me" thinking about those words now. It broke his heart.

It was his fault that Eskel was gone, dead. The same person he grew up with, his first kiss, his first love. The person who he told everything too, the person he trusted the most. He took away his last breath. He made him suffer. He would never forgive himself for it, he found himself sitting in Eskels room. He wasn't sure why he was there, to feel comforted? Although he knew he didn't deserve it.

He curled up in Eskels bed, he could still smell him. He felt so much guilt, so much pain. He hadn't even gotten the chance to ask how his year was.

Eskel, sweet caring kind Eskel was gone. He wouldn't see him again, he would never get the chance to tell him how sorry he was. He failed him, he failed everyone.

Sure he's had blood from other Witchers on his hands stopping them from bleeding out, patching up wounds or even just in fights he got into when he was young. Never like this, never by killing them.

He let out a shaky breath, before hearing a knock on the door. "Geralt?" it was Lambert. He could hear him, his voice that sounded so quiet. He cleared his voice, "Yea-" his voice broke and he hated it.

Lambert came in slowly eyeing Geralt before sitting next to him, he could see now that Lambert was crying his eyes were red and puffy and tears were staining his cheeks. He wasn't taking Eskel's death well at all. He opened up to Eskel the most, hell Eskel took care of him.When he was first brought to Kaer Morhen. He helped him through the trials, he helped him through everything. Lambert was ever one to open up, but he never hesitated with Eskel. He felt safe with Eskel.

He could see that he loved Eskel, he did too. He thought that the three of them would cuddle up in this very bed tonight. He was wrong.

They both sat in silence for a few moments, he didn't know what to say or do Lambert was holding Eskel's jerkin up to his face taking in his scent. Before he heard his soft cries, he sat up slowly and pulled the youngest pup close. Lambert clung to him for dear life, sobbing his heart out. The smell of sadness and pain that came from Lambert was heartbreaking. "I just- why the fuck did this have to happen?!" he suddenly shouted eyes his vision blurred with tears.

"Him of all people-" Lambert voice broke as he shook violently. He sighed, he had no idea how to comfort him that was Eskel's job he always knew what to say or do. He knew nothing.

Eskel was the glue that held them together. Him and Lambert wouldn't have gotten as close if it weren't for Eskel. "I don't know-" he said weakly, grimacing as he gently rubbed along the youngest pups back.

Lamberts sobs had died out after a while, and he layed down still holding him close because he knew that's what Lambert needed most. He needed to feel secure loved. They didn't speak, they just lied there and eventually Lambert fell asleep snuggling into Geralt whilst holding one of Eskel's jerkins to his face practically smothering himself in his scent.

He stared at the ceiling sadly, feeling tears now burn his eyes as a sob escaped his lips. This was the first time he cried over it. The loss and guilt was becoming too much.

He killed his first love. He killed Lamberts first love.

He let out a pained sob. As the words rang through his head once again.

"I thought you could help me"

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