After The Run Away: Jason McCann: 3rd book to Dont Fall For The Criminal

Chapter 30 - This Is Awful

**Mackenzie's P.O.V**

It's been five days since I left home and came to my hometown. My hearts hurts badly for multiple reasons right now. One, I miss Jason and Drew so god damn much. Two, it's really starting to hit my mother that my father is dead and she has been a mess. Although they divorced she still loved him so much. And three, it still hurts knowing I ignored my own father and I never got to say goodbye.

Tonight is the wake. It's something I am not prepared for. No one is ever prepared for something like this. I'm not ready at all. It's going to hit me so much harder.

My brother is a mess. He has barely spoken two words today. We've all been pretty silent. I guess just trying to prepare for tonight. Which is impossible.

And now today, I'm going to be seeing so many people from this town. Another thing I am not ready for. I shouldn't even care. It's not like I'll be hounded with questions about my personal life while my dead father is laying right there. Harsh, but the truth. People just say how sorry they are and keep walking. These next two days are going to be a mess.

***

This is awful.

We are only thirty minutes into the wake and it is hard. I look at the casket and regret not making amends with him over the past few years. I've sent him pictures of Drew when he was younger and my dad would respond and after that I wouldn't answer. My mom would tell him about Drew.

I've been standing here in this other room for about ten minutes. I needed a break so I'm standing by myself right now. I saw everyone in my family for the first time in seven years.

Everyone asked me a million questions. That wasn't easy either. All I told everyone was that I moved away and I do not want to tell anyone where (they respected that thank god), and I told them I'm happily married and an amazing son.

"You okay?" I heard behind me. I turned around to see my uncle Nick.

"I will be" I told him with a nod.

"How are you? What have you been up to these past years?" He asked me as he walked closer to me. I sat down and he sat down on the chair next to me.

"I'm great. I have a healthy little boy. I live in a great community. Great marriage, great friends. Everything is good. I promise" I told him as I looked over at him. He nodded.

"Good. I'm proud of you" he said with a forced smile. Which is understandable considering where we are. "How's McCann?" He asked in a quieter tone just in case someone was close by.

"He is great. We are great" I answered and he slowly nodded.

"I know this is for your father and all, but I'm really surprised you are here" he told me.

"I been secretly coming here for the last few months. I was taught how to be discreet." I joked and he chuckled.

"I'm sure, but I mean here in public. Sunglasses don't completely put you in disguise" He joked back and I let out a little laugh. He says that because I haven't took my sunglasses off since I walked out of my moms house.

"I know" I said shook my head. "Does anyone even tie me to Jason? Like will I get questioned if I'm seen?" I asked him in a quieter tone.

"No. You're okay, I promise you. The only people that would are the ones who knew you and Jason were together and knew who he was" He told me. I nodded and felt more relaxed.

"That makes me feel better" I told him honestly. "I'm still keeping these sunglasses on though" We both laughed then we sat in silence for a few minutes just staring in the distance. It wasn't awkward though. It was just much needed silence. To relax basically.