Chapter One

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How did I get here? I think to myself as I think about my shabby flat which is situated in Long Island City. I have been telling myself for around a year now that I need to move but my job only allows me to see dawn and dusk, the job takes over my life but it allows me to focus on other things.

Focusing on 'other things' defers my thoughts, my thoughts on him...Christian. I feel a sharp ache in my stomach which shatters through my body, leaving Christian was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It was for the best, not entirely sure it was the best choice for myself but I know it would've helped Christian immensely.

We wasn't meant to be, I wasn't what he needed. Christian had to be in control, he tried to give me 'more' but he ended up forcing the relationship. This resulted in countless arguments, in the end I realised I didn't have the energy to fight with him anymore.

It all came to me during one of the arguments that I would never win, Christian Grey was undeniably too stubborn and powerful to lose. I wouldn't just lose the argument, I would face a consequence for disobeying the 'rules' which was very frustrating. In the end it was all too much, I was physically and emotionally exhausted, one minute I was sleeping and the next hanging from a ceiling in Christian's red room.

However, all this made me love him more. Yes he was the biggest pain in the ass but I loved him, I still do.

I hadn't seen him since the day I left him, the day I left I realised I had to move away from Seattle. Being that close to him would have given me the temptation of running back into his arms, I couldn't let that happen for his sake. So after three and a half weeks I found myself packing for Long Island City, I decided to move there because there were many opportunities for my future career compared to other places.

Leaving my best friend Kate was extremely difficult, she is more like my sister than anything. It made me feel better that she had Elliot with her, I knew he'd always take care of her.

It's so frustrating when you want to see your best friend daily to share all the gossip, but they're over 2000 thousands miles away. The only form of contact I adore is Skype, it just makes me feel like my best friend is here and not in Seattle.

"Deep thoughts?", I suddenly get forced out of my day dream, my head snaps up to my work colleague Alisha.

"Sorry, just day dreaming.", I wipe my eyes as she still stands there, she folds her arms and shakes her head.

"You look emotional, are you ok?", I give her a half smile, she has always been so stubborn.

"I'm missing my family and friends", She gives me a sad smile then suddenly grabs my hand.

"Let's go out tonight.", I shake my head as I stare at the pile of work, "Ok, let me rephrase that. Ana, we are going out tonight, meet you in the bar.", She gives me a smug smile knowing she's won the battle before walking back to her desk, I rest my head in my hands and take a deep breath then release it slowly.

I grab my bag and realise I'm one of the last to leave the office, I check the time and gasp because I'm 15 minutes late meeting Rory.

I exit the automatic doors and see Rory sitting on one of the walls which surrounds the workplace.

"Hey", He jumps down effortlessly and kisses my cheek, "God, look at those dark circles. Someone punched you?", He states tenderly rubbing his thumb over my dark circles.

"It's called not sleeping all night and working all day, you should try it.", He smirks as he runs his hands down my back.

"Miss sarcastic Steele, welcome back! Was about to send out a missing poster.", I shake my head at his immaturity.

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