Kid Icarus uprising randomness

My thoughts on Dark Pit x Pit

THIS. ANGERS ME. SO MUCH. 

Before we get into this ship: My first kid Icarus fanfic I read, it was a au for it. They made the two of them do nsfw things because I'm a coward and won't explain it myself. There wasn't even a point to it in the au. Also no warning for that. 

First of all. I'll ask a question: 

If you had a clone would you fuck them?

I would hope the answer to that is 'ew no-'

Because that's just what this ship is, incest and selfcest//?//, This ship is so gross worse than some people shipping siblings. //Well then again these two can be seen as siblings//

But like- WHY? THERE'S NOT EVEN MUCH SUBSTANCE FOR IT. 

Reason 1: I know this could be seen as a headcanon, but the first thing Pit is ordered to do is track down and kill Dark Pit. This could be debated as Palutena forcing him to. And yeah, fair. But still, he didn't seem to hesitate too much. 

Reason 2: Dark Pit spends most of the game being cold and mean to Pit, and condescending. If you're idea of a relationship is being bullied and slandered you have your own problems. 

Reason 3: The chaos kin ark: I see this as the two becoming closer: more like brothers or friendly rivals. I don't see a relationship devolving from saving each other, in fact as much as I'd hate to admit it: Dark Pit could've just saved Pit to keep his own life, not because he had a crush or felt indebted. Though honestly I feel like this is incorrect, after all he seems to somewhat worry about Pit in the way a family member would. 

The arguments to why it's 'okay' according to the shippers. 

'you're just homophobic!!!!' no most of us aren't, in fact. Most of the anti Pit x Dark Pit shippers are some form of the LGBTQ+ fuck I'm bi. //And I swear to God if I see someone defending it calling me not gay enough or too straight I will have a mental breakdown as a response// 

'its fine because it's not real' I guess, but like: are you really gonna ship basically the same person, or brothers. 

'you're just a anti shipper!' actually no. I don't hate most shippers, I'm fine with most of them actually as long as you're not shipping pedophilia or incest, or sending death threats over shipping disagreements. You're fine in my book. 

And if you're respectful about it in the comments, I'd be happy to discuss this with the shippers too. 

Overall why I'm not a fan: stinky, dynamic wouldn't work, their brothers/rivals, selfcest, incest. Like Pit x Dark Pit, I don't see it being healthy realistically even with the development later. 

Dark Pit is a closed off sassy asshole, who needs personal space//I don't mean this as Dark Pit slander, he's an amazing character!//

Pit on the other hand is the complete opposite, cheerful, bubbly, loud. While he doesn't invade personal space and shit, he'd probably be lacking the attention he wants in the relationship. 

But who knows maybe I'm completely wrong. Now, onto the more nsfw side of this 🤦. 

So much lemon for this ship and rule 34, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK GUYS- These two seem to be minors //or look the part// and honestly I disagree with 'oh their aged up in this' no the lore is still canon. Pit from the looks of it, is 13. A MINOR. But then again these are fictional angels and why should I care if there's porn of it? Every fandom has it //and it's kinda rampant in the kid Icarus fandom...... **AHEM** Palutena fanart.//

I don't care if you're horny, porn of characters that look like minors is not okay. 

AND THANK YOU FOR READING THIS UNORGANIZED HELLHOLE OF A POST ABOUT ME HATING A SHIP :)