After the Fight

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It was finally lights out and everyone except Teja has settled into their beds. Karan was frustrated looking at her neatly made bed and her countless bags containing cream after cream.

He wanted to break something or someone and leave the show. How did this happen to him? Why is he so bothered by this girl? This tiny, irritating and stubborn to no ends girl?

He wanted to resolve this dilemma. It's been nagging him for 2 weeks now. Ever since he was called toxic. Is Teja really interested in him? Is she just playing along with the makers? Why does everything I do end up being wrong? I be with her, they call me useless. I avoid her, I'm toxic. I fight her and...

The words hit him hard again. It gave him literal chills to hear her say those words - "You never fucking loved me".
There are other girls who have said the same thing. And he always thought "That's true". But when Teja said that, his could hear his voice faltering and mind shutting down. He kept repeating whatever he was saying but his heart was breaking.

He hurried to the washroom and try as he might, he was not able to stop the tears. He lit cigarette after cigarette and after six of them, he finally calmed down.

Now lying in bed, a new thought entered his mind. She said he never loved her. But he has never confessed his love. How did she know? She felt it? But if she knows why didn't she say anything? Confront me? Is she cold enough to play along with someone who loves her? Lead him on for the game?

His heart shouted 'NO' and at the same time Teja entered the bedroom. She looked at him and stopped. He kept looking at her and they both didn't move for a minute. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she shook herself and went to stand next to his bed. He lifted the covers without a word and she laid down next to him. They were both facing the ceiling and not each other.

Karan could feel the eyes on them. Several people in the room were looking at them. Some openly and some through frequent glances. Teja moved on the bed and he saw that she was removing her mic. She made him remove his next. She didn't say a word but Karan noticed her eyes were swollen and red. He was so angry with himself about the camera taunts. But he was angry and he needed to be sure. Once the mics were off, she pulled him under the covers and started talking.

Teja - "Karan, please don't interrupt. Let me finish what I have to say".

He noticed that she was consciously not touching him even though they were under the same covers and it killed him. He gulped down his anger and nodded at her to go on.

Teja - "I know we didn't know each other before the show. I know you were interested first. And I know it looks like I just went along with it. I'm not good with words like you are. I didn't think I needed to be. I thought my actions spoke. The way I wake you up, the food I make for you, the food I feed you, my touches, my hugs, my kisses. That's how I speak. But today I realised that maybe that's not enough. Maybe that seems fake to you"

Her voice broke there and Karan reached out. But she stopped him, took a deep breath and continued.

Teja - "It's not. It's not fake. Not even .1%. I am not the person you think I am. Or at least the person you have been thinking I am for the last two weeks? I see, I notice, I know. I thought you'll figure it out yourself. But the circumstances we are put in are not helping and I see the gap widening between us. I am scared. I'm scared of losing you, losing this, what we have. The mere thought of not having you breaks my heart and pushes me to breaking down. So here I am, with my cards open and laid out. It's up to you now. I'm giving you the choice to walk away. I'll not blame you. I'll not say a word. We can even tell people it was me. But.. but if you choose to stay, with me? I promise you all my heart. You'll always come first. In the game, in this house, outside this house, in life. I said it once, I'll say it again - Tere upar koi kabi nai aa saktha"

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