𝙼𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝙱𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚗 | PJM. JJK✔

the river

January 3rd, 2019

"I could die right now, Jimin. I'm just happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just - exactly where I want to be."

I held Jimin's hand as we lay on the frozen surface of the Han-river. He rested his head on top of my chest and listened to my heartbeat, and I wondered if his was racing as fast as mine was in that moment.

I brought my hand up to comb through his bright orange hair, and closed my eyes in pure bliss until I no longer felt his feathery locks brush past my fingers, and I jolted awake.

I've lost him.

He slipped away and I have lost him again, but I am suddenly completely overwhelmed by the feeling that this is all so terribly wrong.

Erasing Jimin. Thinking that there was more pain in our memories than love. It feels like the biggest mistake I've ever made.

I scramble to my knees, throw my hands up into the air and scream for someone to hear me. "I want to call it off! I bellow, waving my arms and trying to wake myself up by wishing upon all the stars in the nightsky. I slam my fists against the ice, cursing my stupid, reckless self and roaring in frustration. "Please, someone? Anyone, listen to me! I don't want it anymore!"

Nothing happens.

Nothing changes.

Jimin is still gone, and I am unable to save him.

"Jungkook?" A faint voice calls, coming from somewhere hidden within the shadows.

I push myself up as my feet slide over the ice, and my eyes widen. "Jimin!" I yell, panting as I run across the river to find him. "Jimin? Where are you!"

"Jungkookie?"

I turn around on my heels, nearly slipping as I falter over to where I see Jimin's body lie in the darkness on the ice.

"Jimin, oh thank God... Jimin we need to hurry," I usher, grabbing his small hands and pulling him up to his feet. "Come on, we need to leave."

Jimin's face twists in confusion as he stands up reluctantly. "What? Jungkook, w-what's going on?"

"Just follow me!" I snap, dragging him across the ice though I hadn't the slightest idea where toward.

I squeeze his hand tightly in mine as we run over the frozen Han-river, and I try my very best to think of a place where I can hide this memory of him.

I think of when we went to a karaoke-bar in Gwangjin-gu, and sang love songs to each other until our voices gave out. I had to swear not to tell a soul about how he cried when I sang 'If You' by BigBang to him, and I had boldly told him that the price of my silence was a kiss on the lips.

I remember when I finished my drawing of him for his birthday, and had painted him to look like an angel in a pastel colored sky. He blushed when I gave it to him, before proceeding to improve it by adding a stick-figure of me standing next to him, staring at him like a creep.

I'm even reminded of the day we decided to escape to the roof of my apartment building during a storm, and danced like fools in the pouring rain. Our smiles had been so wide. Our laughs so very loud. We didn't even care when we both caught a cold, and ended up bed-ridden for about week. We enjoyed nursing each other back to health, cooking rice porridge and cuddling up in bed with stuffy noses and shuddering bodies.

I couldn't allow those memories to fade. I wouldn't let them! And there was that guy... Yoongi! That son of a bitch. He's using my words! And he fucking kissed Jimin when he wasn't even awake! I can't let Jimin be with a guy like him, can I? I have to wake up somehow. I have to protect him!