𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎'𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

AMARA
I WOKE UP FROM my sleep , looking around the lightly dimmed room with Niccolo not present. I sighed sitting up resting my head on the head board , staring at nothing but the black curtains and large French doors leading to the balcony.

I got up grabbing my robe and wrapping it around me. Heading towards his office, I didn't bother knocking. His eyes shot up and scanned my body I stepped further into the room. His office was just as the same before. I hadn't known why I entered in the first place but I just found myself going inside. He stared at me examining my blank expression.

"When were you going to tell me about Damiano?" He finally broke the silence.

"I'm not sure Nico, you had other priorit-" I heard a hard slam on his desk causing me to jump. I knew he had a temper, but he never used it on me. And with knowing that my temper was rising as well.

"You were always my priority so what the fuck do you mean Ara?" I couldn't respond back I bit on my lip just looking away again. I heard him approaching me from his desk, my heart was racing.

"I'm going to ask you again, when were you going to tell me about Damiano?" The truth was I wasn't going to tell him about Damien at all until I felt safe.

"I wasn't sure when to tell you Niccolo, you had to worry about a war, and I know what happens to the boys when they're born in the famgilia." I bit back strongly.

"Ara I went to hell and back to be with you" he responded gripping my chin. "I have killed for you, can you not see that you were going to be safe?"

"But you know that's not true. Not after what happened to Molina, she wasn't safe now was she?" Molina was his niece and she had passed a week after I found out I was pregnant. She was so dear to me and Niccolo, we had practically raised her. He looked away avoiding my question.

"It's not like I haven't been to hell and back to be with you neither. After all the things I endured just to still be labeled as someone that'll never fit into your family, I left my home just to be with you. I was going to tell you but I was scared for my safety and what it would be like to bring a child into this life."

"So why did you have to leave Ara!" He shot back.

"Because I was scared!" My eyes darting down crying and grabbing his hands to release me.

I tried to get him to remove his hands from my jaw but he only tightened his hand. I let out a frustrated groan sending him deadly glares.

"Listen to me Ara-".

"No! Listen to me! Don't you ever I mean ever put your fucking hands on me like that again! And to why I left you, want to know? Because I didn't want Damien to be fucked up like you and the people around you! I seen the way you turned after Molina and I'd be dammed if Damien was going to be in a predicament like that! They stripped her away from her home and killed her Niccolo! They left her little body on our doorsteps. He was not going to be safe. All because of this stupid ass Familiga business!" I watched as his face went blank.

I didn't bother looking back, I just knew I had to let that out. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was the honest truth. The night before I decided to leave I thought really hard. I knew Niccolo loved me, hell we were engaged but, the cons out weighed the pros and I knew I needed to get far away as possible.

I got up slamming his office door behind him. Walking into the nursery he had set up for Damien I looked into his crib and smiled at his beautiful soft face. Sitting down in the rocking chair I drifted off to sleep.

••••

"Thank you Marcia," I smiled at the maid for pouring me milk. I turned my attention to a babbling Damien.

He hit on top of his high chair table grabbing for his dry cereal. I chuckled and fed him.

"I don't know what Niccolo wants but it sure is somethi-" my attention turned to the feminine voice that entered the kitchen. It was his sister Bella. My heart yearned for her most of the time since I'd been back.

"Oh my Dio! Amara!" Bella exclaimed rushing to me giving me a tight hug. I did the same in return.

I haven't seen her since I left that night. She was the only one that knew I was leaving. My guilt came rushing back remembering she was in a dark time too and I left her but she was so understanding to my situation.

"Bella I've missed you so much." I teared up a bit from joy."Oh nonsense Amara , oh my who's this piccolo uomo?" She turned her attention to a now curious Damiano.

"He's mine Bella." She looked back at Damien silently examining his face.

I could only imagine her heart was yearning for her sweet Molina.

"He looks so much like Niccolo." I didn't say anything just nodded remembering the event of 4 nights ago. "What's his name?" She asked breaking the silence, "Damiano but Damien for short." I answered smiling back softly.

Niccolo and I hadn't talked since. I'd done  everything to avoid him, and so had he. He hadn't slept in the room with me and would dart off after seeing me enter any room. He only came into the room to say Italian endearments and prayers to Damien and hadn't returned.

"Amara."

"Yes? I'm sorry." I bit my lip trying to make out what she said to me while I was distracted in my thoughts.

"I said how did Niccolo take it?" I put my head down and tried to fight back the tears that were coming to my eyes. This subject to me was such a touchy subject and I felt that Niccolo was completely disregarding my worries.

"I'm guessing not so good....you didn't tell me neither." She bent down to my level grabbing my arms as I shook my head not wanting to tell her. 

"I wanted to it's just you had lost Mo- I just couldn't tell you, I thought it'd break your heart." I poured out as a single tear fell down she looked down and took a breath before putting on a smile.

"Amara that is just sadly not a good enough excuse to not tell me. No matter what happened to me I wanted to at least know. He is my nephew." She replied smiling at Damien. I nodded taking in her words.

"He was very harsh with me Bella, I don't know what came over me but I-I said something messed up." I shuddered over my words crying. She pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back.

Opening my eyes I seen Niccolo standing at the entrance of the kitchen. He didn't move, he didn't say anything. Just stared at me.

I hurriedly wiped my tears and nudged Bella back. She looked at me but turned around noticing I was staring at Niccolo. Turning away to go and grab for a now crying Damien."I'll take him Amara, stay here." She said grabbing Damien rocking him and making 'shh' noises to calm him down.

Niccolo took more steps into the kitchen as Damien and Bella left.

"Bambina." He dared to step coming closer to me, I got up trying to get away from him but he grabbed my arm pulling me back. "You got something you wanna say?"

"I'm sorry amore mio." He hovered over me grabbing the sides of my face looking into my eyes. I knew how he felt and how he saw my side of the story. I left out of fear for mine and my child's safety. If he couldn't understand that I truly didn't know what.

I knew that what I did had cause enough damage, even now that Damien was in the picture.

Things were not going to get any better the more the conversation was being avoided. So I knew we'd need to really talk eventually.