𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂

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(𝗒/𝗇)'𝗌 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾

i needed a job. and i needed it quickly.
my name is (y/n), and i am a vampire. it is a common misconception that most of us are rich due to build up of centuries worth of jobs. but that is not always true.

after a recent attempt to end it all, i donated all of my money to charity to help all of the children in need. but the failed attempt and the recently learned knowledge that garlic literally has no effect on vampires, and therefore consuming 28 olive garden garlic bread sticks will not kill me has left me with no money and no house.

so here i am, living in a cheap apartment looking for job ads in the newspaper. but one catches my attention. "circus baby's pizza world?" i mutter under my breath. that sounds so utterly stupid, but i really want that job now.

the shift hours are starting at 12 am and finishing at 6 am. this is literally perfect for me! with my naturally nocturnal nature, i can manage to power my way through this. and in a few decades, i can regain all of the money i lost by hopping jobs every few years. i dialed the number into my phone and listened to the humming sound it made. "hello hello! this is circus baby's pizza world, how may i help you?" a charismatic voice asked.

"hey! i would like to apply for the uh, nightshift. is that still available?" i questioned. "yes ma'am! please come to the location at 10 am for your interview." the voice informed. "i will. thank you and have a nice day!" i smiled, despite knowing the person cannot see my face. "you too!" he finished before i hung up the phone.

i jumped out of bed and dressed in a solid black shirt with jeans and a belt. i went through my typical morning routine, and grabbed a crimson wine bottle. of course it looked like wine, but it really just was some blood i had preserved. i didn't genuinely enjoy killing people, so i had just found freshly dead people and drained them of their blood.

i chugged the bottle and prepared to go outside. i was really pale for my skin tone, so i wore some sun-resistant appliances, such as sunscreen and sunglasses. the sun doesn't have an effect on me, but i typically get sunburned pretty easily.

as i walked out the door, i grabbed my bike and pedaled towards the pizzeria. i had sold my car and donated that money too. i suppose the heavy donations made me a much better person in our society's eyes, but i legitimately have no money.

i parked my bike outside and walked inside. the interior was much bigger than i thought it would be. i walked over to a desk, where a teenage boy sat. "hello?" i asked. "where do i apply for a job?" "w-which j-j-job?" the boy stuttered. "the nightguard," i responded. "g-go t-to t-th-the f-first door on t-the l-l-left." he pointed a room and wished me good luck. i thanked him and walked towards the room.

i felt some anxiety about the job, but it went away immediately when i remembered i can just hypnotize my boss if the interview goes wrong.
before i walked in, i inhaled sharply.

everything is gonna be fine.

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