New Flames

Chapter 10

"How did you get that injury?"

Flame's question surprised Treen, whose scales shifted to a speckled purple for a second. He was looking at her back foot, which was an uncanny shade of white, unlike the rest of her brown-scaled body. It reminded Flame of the eyes of a dying dragon. He thought of Stonemover, momentarily, before realizing that Treen was nothing like the half-stone dragon.

"If I'm going to talk about my problems, then I'd like to get to know you too," he added, with an inexpressive nod, but almost as if he felt bad for asking.

He knew that question was probably rude or risky to ask considering she was a dragon he barely knew: from his experience at the Talons of Peace camp, most dragons did not want to talk about their scars. In hindsight, he found himself relating to that sentiment ever since he got his own.

Treen dipped her head, as they both settled down in her study. "Very well," she said, and with a breath, started telling her story. Flame relaxed his talons, which were previously clenched with nerves, and listened.

"I injured my foot when I was very young. As a dragonet, I was active, unpredictable, and much louder than other RainWings my age. Other dragonets... or I guess my whole tribe, didn't really like me much," her expression didn't seem to change, despite what she was saying, "I guess that even us RainWing don't stray too far from the other tribes when it comes to disliking differences." She laughed nervously while saying so, then shook her head. "Once, some adults told me to try to climb one of the highest jungle fruit trees in the forest, to wind down my energy I guess. And I did just that - I used my energy, and climbed that tree, like no other dragonet my age could do. I felt so proud of myself as if I was the queen of the continent. As if I proved them wrong. But I slid as I was trying to get down, and I wasn't fast enough to glide, so I landed on my foot... and broke my ankle completely."

Flame listened. He could imagine that scene in his head, almost as if he could feel her pain, both past, and present. The way Treen spoke seemed to resonate with his mind.

"They brought me to the healers, who did the best they could. But I can't feel my foot anymore, and it's been nearly two decades, so I doubt that'll change," she said, her eyes as calm as her voice, "some RainWing started calling me Whitefoot. Others felt this strange guilt as if they had caused my injury. But I took one thing from that experience: if my body had healed, then I'd chose to heal my mind as well. That's how I decided I wanted to become the sort of dragon that helped others with troubles that weren't visible from the outside, but that some might define as the things that shape who you are. But, as I found out, they don't. My trauma wasn't me - it's a part of me, but Treen isn't just a white foot. In the end, that's what I've been trying to show other dragons too."

As she finished talking, Flame started thinking, head drooping as he explored corners of his mind he'd seldom explored before.

What did his scar mean to him? He knew it was something he didn't like, something that made him feel bad whenever he thought about it. It had been Viper's final way to hurt him, Morrowseer's solution to quell his rebellious emotions... and destiny's response to Flame's worst nightmare.

He'd been ashamed of it for so long. When he found out that there was an animus at Jade Mountain Academy, that was the first thing he set out to do: he wanted his pain to heal finally. But his scar was still with him, and the enchantment that protected him from Darkstalker had taken his only chance to heal from him.

"What are you here to talk about Flame?" Treen's question shook him, and he jolted himself to attention, his wings fanning the ground.

"I just want to prove to others that this scar isn't all I am... that I'm more than it." He said, slowly, with a stern voice.

"Do you believe that yourself?" She asked, tilting her head sideways.

"What?" What did she mean? Of course, he thought so. That was the whole reason he was here. It was other dragons' fault if they thought he was a murderer, a sickly SkyWing who needed help. But he knew he wasn't that sort of dragon.

"Do you believe that you don't need to heal, or work through anything? Are you convinced that others are just misunderstanding you, or are they perhaps just trying to help?" Treen asked again, and Flame saw Ardor once more, flying in front of him under the moonlight, asking him to try again... to let them help him. He shook that thought from his mind violently.

"I don't need anyone's help to heal. It's my business. This scar is my business. It doesn't change who I am." He was tough with his words and reaching a point where the tone of his voice was beginning to waver.

Treen walked to look him in the eye. She gave him a second, then said. "Flame... what happened with your scar doesn't define who you are. But it did hurt you. You did feel something because of it. Something did change, didn't it?"

Flame's mind flashed images. Fire, and Viper's body disappearing in the lava. His mother's look of pity as she held him. Dragon's eyes looking away from him. Stonemover's refusal as he begged for his magic. Everyone's blame, cast on him because of an animus' spell.

His scar... it wasn't just a scar. It was what the NightWing Island had done to him.

Suddenly he felt it again. Blood around his eyes, a singeing pain on his scales, his snout torn apart by his friend's death.

His breathing became more shallow as he felt all of it again. And his mind began to spiral until he felt something grab his talons.

Then suddenly, Treen was there, in front of the lava, standing between him and Viper. He saw the SandWing's rage as she attacked the RainWing instead, and he couldn't do anything to save her. Over, and over again.

"Flame."

A voice. A cloud on a sunny day, allowing him to see again,

"Focus on my talons, on your breathing. Look at what happened after, and bring yourself to this moment."

Flame was scared, but the voice guidance felt like safety. He thought of Avalanche hunting with him when he returned, of Pike's voice as they talked after the explosion. He saw Ardor flying, extending her talon towards him. And then, he saw himself standing in that room.

One breath in, one out, and again. Talons holding his own. Then finally, Treen's eyes and her brown scales with spirals of purple.

He let go of her and took a step back. The moment of fear had seemingly melted away as his breathing evened out, and he looked at the RainWing with shock.

"What was that?" He asked in one breath.

She looked away, dropped her own talon, and then looked back up.

"I think I understand why you're still in so much pain... and why that moment just happened," she said, and held his eyes, as she considered her words.

"How long have you been fighting again your pain, Flame? How long have been holding your emotions back?"

And then, finally, the arrow that struck his core.

"Did you ever even let yourself fully feel any of this?"