New Flames

Chapter 11

"I didn't know I could."

Flame let those words float out of his jaws, almost as if his soul could finally breathe. He felt quiet, scared. What would Treen say next? Would she scold him? Would she highlight his wrongdoings?

"I'm sorry, Flame." She whispered, almost out of nowhere.

Flame looked up at her and saw her eyes meeting his, quietly. She had a sad look, but not one of pity. It was the look of a dragon who knew his pain.

"Dragons can make you feel like you're weak if you dare show your wounds. Or alternatively, you come to think that healing needs to be something you face alone, and quickly." As she said that, Treen's wings spiraled with sky blue, a color Flame had never seen on her before. From his time in the RainWing village, he'd come to associate that color with melancholy. She soon continued, before he could think about her mood more. "Sometimes it's a combination of both... but for you, it became something else completely, didn't it?"

"I... I guess it felt like it was never fully finished for me. My body is healed, but small things can still bring me back to that moment. I don't know why," he paused, "and I don't know how to stop it."

Treen gave him a second. She reached out her wing, and Flame let himself touch it. It felt like an anchor to that place and that moment. He felt his eyes begin to water, and he stopped fighting it back.

"Mom... I'm sorry. I'm not as strong as you are. I'm not unwavering. I need help... and I think I need to let myself get it. Maybe Viper, Morrowseer, Darkstalker... maybe they were all right. Maybe I really can't change. But if there's one chance for healing, I want it. That's... worth fighting for."

Flame sniffed roughly. He growled under his breath, it still didn't feel right yet, but at least he was done pushing it away.

Treen's scales melted into her usual dull brown, as the blue disappeared. "Flame, would it help to keep talking to me about this? Not every day, but when you feel like it. I think you've come a long way today, but if this feels helpful... I'd like you to know that I'm here."

The SkyWing knew he wanted to give her some sort of sign. Something to tell her yes or no, even if it felt hardly as clear.

And that was the hardest thing. Flame felt a thousand different emotions. Some tore him apart. Told him to run. Shook him to his very core. But some showed him a flicker of clarity. A hope that he could grasp. A warmth that he could feel.

And for once, this mess seemed less impossible to untangle.

He gave one sharp nod, and the words slipped out like the breeze between the summits.

"Yes... I can do that."

-/-

Flame walked wearily back towards the dormitory, twilight creeping through the windows.

Before he left, Treen had given him a scroll. She told him that that was his space, and he could do what he wanted with it. Write, draw, or even tear it to shreds. Flame had partly understood the concept, but he still didn't know what he wanted to do.

For now, he walked towards the cafeteria, pushing that doubt away, and hoped he could find Placoid. He knew some things were still unresolved between them.

It took him a while to find his way back, but he felt like he was making progress - at least he could recognize a hallway from another now.

When he entered the cafeteria, he was overwhelmed by the noise and movement within it. Dragons, mostly SkyWing but also others, were sitting at tables, lines of them, chatting and getting their dinner. Flame thought it would take him a miracle to find Ardor, Ire, and Rail, but he couldn't see Placoid's shimmering blue scales either.

As he walked in, he took a lonely-looking dish of meatballs, and tried to find a table. But it wasn't long since he recognized a familiar snout instead.

"Oh, you again," Ire called, as they nearly walked into each other. The larger SkyWing was carrying some rectangular cuts of cloth and was eyeing him with distaste. "I thought you'd finally up and left."

Flame cracked a half laugh, to which Ire replied with a smile of her own. "You wish," he growled, but strangely there was no malice behind it.

Ire nodded briskly, "Ardor was asking about you. I wouldn't ask, but I know she'd be utterly delighted if you joined us," she said, rolling her eyes and with a puff of her wings.

Flame found himself shaking his head with a small smile, and following her as she led them to where both Ardor and Rail were eating. And as Ire had anticipated, her entire face lit up when she saw him.

"Flame! Hi! Rail and I were so worried about you! He kept asking if you were ok and if you had some weird animus enchantments on you or something, to which I told him to eat his tail! So rude!" she said, glaring at the SkyWing hybrid.

Rail was surprised, be he simply shrugged. "I also remember that I asked if it was apple pie day today in the cafeteria, but you didn't seem to want to answer that question either," he said, and narrowly avoided Ardor's tail as she tried to wack him in response.

Flame felt amused by that scene, even if he didn't laugh out loud. Despite Rail's forwardness, they didn't seem to have bad intentions. Their incessantly sharp questions or assumptions didn't feel provoking. Flame saw them as misguidedly curious, and he couldn't really hold that flaw against them, considering he had been accused of also being unaware of others' emotions at times.

Ire grunted as she sat down, flattening her wings, but then looked at Flame again, "Ardor does have a point though. Where were you this afternoon? I do not want Hurricane on my tail tomorrow asking me why our 'guest' was nowhere to be found," she said with a half hiss.

Flame wondered if he should lie, perhaps make something up to cover up his wavy afternoon. But nothing felt satisfying. He eventually settled with disclosing the closest thing to the full truth.

"I... I talked to Treen- about stuff," he said, looking down at his food.

"Oh, like your past?" Rail immediately chimed in, but as Flame met their eyes, the hybrid immediately stopped. "Alright, I get it. She's a good analyst, from what I've heard, definitely younger than Condor. He's also quite popular from what I've seen from our records."

Ire snorted as she lashed her tail furiously, "Condor is a stuck-up brat who feels like he's entitled to your whole life story!" She growled before Flame saw her shut her eyes, and tap her claws against each other a few times, before quickly continuing. "I talk to Poppy now. She's so much better. I mean, she lets me use the Break Room a lot, which is a bonus treat for me," she said, a proud look flooding her usually anger-crinkled snout.

She saw that Ardor was about to say something, but the SkyWing quickly batter her talon, almost as if to shake a thought away. "I actually have something to say, but I forgot the details. Hm... Rail? What did Placoid say to tell Flame?"

Flame's ears were once again standing at full attention as he heard the SeaWing's name. He locked eyes with Rail's non-identical pupils, and the hybrid quickly did the same. They fell in sync for a second before the hybrid spoke.

"Oh right! Ok. Flame, he told us to let you know that he wants to talk?" They paused and structured the next sentence properly.

"He told me that he wants to meet you outside the Dragonet's cave when the moons are shining high. He... didn't say why".

But Rail didn't have to tell him.

He knew what the SeaWing would say to him, and he guessed it would be nothing good.