This can't be real right now? I'm on a date, on my birthday, in the middle of a beautiful field, away from the shit and smoke of Small Heath, kissing a really handsome boy! I didn't think my life could get any better than this moment, oh but how wrong was I.
"I think we should do it, right here." Henry breathed heavily, centimeters away from my lips.
"Do what?" I questioned, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him in for another long kiss, which he gladly seemed to give into.
"I wanna take you, right here, right now." He responded so bluntly, kissing me once again. Although, this time it seemed more passionate, more controlling, yet gentle and caring at the same time. Henry began to lower me down on to my back but stayed hovering over my body.
I didn't know what to do, it's like my body had froze under all the panic. "Hey, it's okay we don't have to, if you don't want to." Henry gently whispered, pulling away from the kiss and pushing the free strands of hair out of my face.
I had nothing to say, it's like I had lost use of my whole body, apart from the part where I just pulled him in and began kissing him with the exact same energy he was giving, less than ten seconds ago.
As the seconds went by, I could feel things beginning to heat up between us. Although I carried on kissing Henry, as our hands tried to search every inch of each others clothed bodies, I began to have doubts. I wanted this, I really did, but imagine what Polly would say, "Ciara-Ann, I thought I raised you better than this!' But then again, maybe she would be all laughs and jokes about it. I for sure knew that the boys back home would be.
The boys back home. Finn.
Holy Shit! I pushed Henry off me, harsh enough for him to fall back on to the blanket, looking up to the sky. " Oh my, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I reached over, checking there was no bumps or bruises forming on his arms or shoulders; from how hard I had pushed him.
"Yeah, no I'm okay." He responded rubbing his forehead with one hand, as his left had was still placed on my back. "The more important question is, are you okay? I didn't expect you to push me that hard." Henry tried to laugh it off, still facing the sky.
I didn't know what to say, I almost felt ashamed of myself. What would people say if they had found out that I had kissed a Shelby and then a week later, gave myself up to another? God, I would be mocked, or maybe Tommy would find out and hurt Henry. No I can't let that happen.
Oh but I can't keep away from Henry, his brown neat hair all ruffled up now, his face, his arms, him.
"Ciara? I said are you alright?" I felt a hand come to rest on my shoulder.
"Oh sorry, I must have gone off into a daydream." I spoke rubbing my eyes just a little, to wake me up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you that hard, I mean, I don't even know why I pushed you away at all." I finished, biting my nails and looking straight in front of me, avoiding all eye contact with Henry; scared to his expression.
I felt the hand leave my shoulder, and an arm snake it's way around my waist before I was pulled on top of Henry's lap. It was unexpected but I liked it, I took a moment to look into his eyes before he inched his head closer to mine and our lips touched.
And that was the moment I knew that I was about to become a woman.
Our hands never left each others bodies, caressing each others faces, each others backs, when eventually I was flipped round onto my own back, still locked with Henry's smooth lips and with each kiss it became faster and more passionate.
"Are you sure, Ci?" Henry whispered into my ear, his warm breath tracing my neck. The only thing that I could fathom was a simple nod. And that was it, that was the go ahead for him ot do anything he wanted, to me. He was gentle, it was kind, it felt like love. It was everything that I imagined my first time being like.
It was perfect, he was perfect, it all felt right.
He went at my pace. He did everything that I was comfortable with, nothing more and nothing less. It started of slowly, eventually getting more heated and more passionate. I kept thinking to myself that surely this wasn't his first time, I mean he seemed so sure of what he was doing and how he was doing it, if it was he was a natural. He know what parts of my body to touch at specific times, he knew when to kiss me and most of all he knew when he could officially take my virginity.
I had felt nothing like it, that feeling of weirdly feeling complete within myself. I could finally say that I was no longer a virgin, and by that I mean I was finally experiencing the same adventures that normal kids do at my age.
I had done it... Well Henry had done it to me, we did it together. I couldn't think of anyone better to do it with then him.
We laid there, entwined in each others arms, each others embrace. I began to think of what was to happen next, how would we stay in touch? Were we about to leave now and never see each other again? "Will I ever see you again?" I whispered timidly.
"Ciara, look at me." Henry replied lifting my chin up, so that our eyes were in line. "I wouldn't have carried on if I didn't think we would make our way back to each other." That was all I needed to hear, he had spoke the exact words that I wanted to hear and he knew that, my reaction said it all. There was nothing more to say, and so I kissed him. I kissed him like I was never going to see him again, but I knew that wasn't true at all.
In that moment, I began to believe that I finally knew what being wanted felt like. But remember I was a Kid, longing for that feeling.
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2 Years later and here I am again. WOW. Hiya guys, I'm sorry that I just wasn't around to continue this story, I'll be honest I forgot. I know, I know, I'm sorry but I can swear to you that I will try my hardest to continue Ciara's story, I began writing again due to my English A-level teacher, what a gem she is actually. She told me that there was another side to me when I would write her stories, she said it was though I had found peace in my chaotic life and that she wanted me to keep it up, so you can all thank her. I also do know that many people will have stopped reading this book as I haven't been updating in 2 years and I completely understand that by all means, and I'm sorry I was one of those annoying writers that never finished her story, but I am back and I am going to finish it.
Thank you for sticking by it,
C x
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The Fucking Shelby Girl
Fanfiction''You're a Shelby Girl now, Ciara.'' He said with a wink. She wasn't always one. Once upon a time, it was her father, her brother and herself living on the road; they were happy. They had friends, they had enough money, her father had a job for the...
