Laudine's Absolution

True Purpose

True Purpose

Laudine was accustomed to being treated differently because she was a paladin. Her title came with a sense of separation and distance from regular people.

However, it was the first time that her people had ever looked at her with such open and abject terror as they rushed to get away from her.

Though she had experienced some fits in Gwenael, the only people she affected were priests and acolytes. People that were sworn to the Lord and thus trained to deal with paladins and any adverse effects of their powers. When her fits had come while she was in Petrus Landebert, the few people that saw her thought she was a spirit and avoided her because of it. No one put together her appearance with a lady paladin simply because they couldn't imagine that a paladin would lose such control. The city had evacuated slowly, leaving the city in groups but not en masse.

This was the first time that a fit had been so suddenly and acutely thrust upon the people around her that knew her. They had experienced the full breadth and depth of the bad side of her powers, and it had scared them into looking at her like she was a monster.

Once Gael reported to the princess that Laudine had calmed, the manor was slowly refilled with guests and servants. When Laudine left her room, people would gasp at the sight of her and rush away as though just being close to her was enough to bring them to their knees.

They were afraid of her now. Their fear permeated the walls of the manor, soaking into the air and bringing down the morale of everyone. Something that only made Laudine feel worse, even as those very emotions were dragging her down further.

She didn't want to hurt anyone. That hadn't been her intention when she grabbed the guard who had also been in Petrus Landebert that day she lost her mind.

The young maid that had killed herself had been too close and, according to her family, had a history of emotional problems, was a tragedy. Her death was one that weighed on Laudine and, when they had her funeral, she attended the body burning and made an offering herself.

Gael was the one who oversaw the funeral – a rare honor for the Master of the Sacellum to bestow. The family was devastated but were also devoted to the church. They promised Laudine that they didn't hold her responsible. The Lord gave her the powers she possessed and made them as strong as they were and the Lord's will couldn't be fought.

Their understanding was more painful than their anger would have been. Laudine wished they would have raged against her instead.

Because it was her fault. Maybe it was unintentional, maybe she didn't realize what would have happened after grabbing the man and taking the feelings from his heart into her, but that didn't change the outcome of those actions.

Worst of all, Gael had distanced himself from her again.

His emotions were running out of control and, in front of people, he was barely able to maintain the mask of serenity he had previously mastered. People had already begun noticing that something was off and they were getting concerned.

He refused to talk to Laudine. Whenever she tried to find him, he would leave the room. He didn't even make it subtle that he was escaping her.

After the third time, it hurt too much to watch him be so eager to flee her presence. The closeness they had experienced seemed like ages ago. The happiness and calm that he brought her in the bedroom was well and truly gone.

Being around anyone hurt too much now.

She sent a message to Princess Manon telling her to summon her if she was needed, but then locked herself in her room. She allowed servants to leave her trays of food outside the door so they didn't have to be near her.