"C'mon, come with me." the guy says.
"I don't know, I don't really do parties."
"It'll be fun. I promise."
"Just one night?"
"One night. I'll pay for your ride home too."
"Fine. One night."
---
I had been years since I'd gone to any sort of party. It had been a couple of months since I had drunken anything. And, I had never felt what I felt towards this guy, Alfie, before.
He picked me up at 7 and I got into his car, wringing my hands and staring out the window.
"How uh, how was the rest of your shift?" I ask, clearing my throat and trying to break the ice a bit.
"Good. No more old ladies asking for help buying their clothes." he punches me playfully in the leg. I laugh, but it doesn't alleviate any of the anxiety.
"Hey! I'm not an old lady." I reply in mock defense.
"Prove it."
"I uh...well, I do carpentry, and woodworking."
"Oh my god, you think that doesn't make you an old lady?"
"Well yeah, have you ever seen an old lady with a chainsaw?"
Alfie laughs and shakes his head.
"I haven't, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. There's this art installation up in Canada, in Ottawa, from the 90's, and it's basically just a giant metal spider that's like, 30 feet high."
"Yeah? Your point?"
"It was made by this little old lady in her like, eighties. I saw it in a video once."
Suddenly I feel stupid. I literally work at a museum with an art gallery. I should have known about that.
When we get to the party, this house in the suburbs definitely on the right side of the tracks, Alfie walks around to meet me. He takes my hand, only to find it tense and grossly clammy. All of me is tense and grossly clammy.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asks. My mouth is dry and I try swallowing to talk, eventually resorting to a shrug. I can hear the music from the driveway, and it's loud, and I worry about what's going on inside the actual house.
"If you're really not feeling up to it we can just go to my place and have some drinks there where it's quiet. Or- I know this really great diner, we can go chill out there." he offers, turning to face me.
"No- no we should go in, you drove all the way out, and you wanted to go, so let's go." I gesture, trying to seem enthusiastic.
"Hey, Owen. Look at me?" Alfie says, holding me back a little. He takes both my hands and looks me in the eye. He's smiling now, excited that we're staying. "It's gonna be fun, these people are super cool, you'll have a blast. Alright? Loosen up, c'mon." he says, moving my arms back and forth.
It feels silly, but I let him and eventually I start laughing when Alfie goes from moving back and forth to jumping up and down, like a hyper kid.
"Let's go! This is gonna be fun!" he exclaims, pulling me to the door. His willingness to do things makes me feel warm, comfortable. I trust him.
The music inside was in fact, loud, and there were a lot of people there. Part of me worried that Alfie would ignore me after we got there, let me fend for myself so to speak, but he didn't. He hung on to my hand and we weaved through crowds of people, introducing me to friends and people he knew. Even after we'd had a couple drinks, and later a lot of drinks, he never let go, guiding me everywhere. We ended up sitting in a corner, and Alfie went to go get more drinks.
