The second I get home I go to my room and lock the door. I'm not talking to anybody. Fuck, I need a smoke or a joint or something. I check my pockets, but I guess the cops took my shit because they're empty. Whatever. I fall onto my bed and stare at the ceiling.
I didn't mean to take the milk. I mean like I did, but I didn't wanna like, do anything stupid. I don't even know why I did it. Sometimes, I just feel like doing stupid shit because it feels good. That sounds so fucked up, I'm not insane or whatever, I wouldn't like, do crazy shit like some other guys, but I don't know what else to do.
I don't know when, but I fall asleep at some point, and when I wake up it's dark. I'm fucking starving. Owen's not in the living room or the kitchen, I guess he went to his room, and I go to the fridge to find something to eat. The cupboards are empty. This place fucking sucks.
Carefully, I open the front door, and get outside before anyone can stop me. Technically, I'm not allowed off our property until the stealing shit's taken care of, but who the fuck's gonna stop me now?
It's colder than I thought it was and I don't really know where I wanna go. I want food but I don't have any fucking money and I'm not stealing again. I'm not totally stupid, I know when to stop. The air is chilly and the sky is clear. Owen would've liked that. He likes all that starry shit. Frankly, I think it's overrated, but they're kind of pretty I guess.
Eventually, I wind up on Aspect's road. Aspect's this guy Owen knows, and he's on some hard shit, but nice enough. Maybe he has food. The front door to the apartment building is unlocked and I run up the stairs to his door. It reeks of smoke and like...sweaty dogs and mold. I knock on the door, loud enough that he would be able to hear it. The stairwell is lit with one cold fluorescent light and a dark starts screaming downstairs. A minute later two people start yelling at each other.
I check my phone.
2:42AM.
I bang on Aspect's door again and he opens mid-knock. He looks like hell. He stands in the doorway at 5"6', scrawny as a stick, making me look like I work out every day of the week. His eyes are exhausted and he's pale and sweaty. His face looks gaunt, like he's a zombie. He's shaking, and looks at me, squinting at the light in the hallway and the people and the dog shouting below.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" he says, his voice hoarse.
Suddenly I feel terrible for coming over.
"Are you ok?" I ask, ditching the original "do you have any food?"
Aspect shifts and stops, closing his eyes, waiting for something to pass.
"Yeah...I'm fine, 'was just sleeping."
"Shit- I can go-"
"No, come in, I don't want you out on the streets at night. It's dangerous. The fuck were you doing out there in the first place."
"None of your business." I reply, stepping through the doorway. It's pitch black in Aspect's apartment, and it's so stuffy I almost choke. It's stuffy and sweaty and it's a real fucking mess too, which is weird because Aspect cleans up other people's houses when he comes over. Without being asked. I step over the trash into the kitchen, where he opens the blinds, letting the light of the street lamp illuminate the sink.
"That's as much light as you're getting. My head's gonna fucking explode." he mumbled, struggling to drink the glass of water he has in his hand. "What do you want."
Money. A cigarette. Food.
I shrug.
"Then why the fuck did you come here?" he snaps coldly.
"Because I didn't know where else to go?" I retort.
"What about your own fucking house?"
"What about yours?"
Aspect takes a step forward, clearly fuming, but stumbles and his legs give out, sending him to the ground. I help him up.
"I'm sorry." I say. Aspect pushes me away.
"It's fine," he says, rubbing his face. "Look, if you wanna stay the night, you can take the couch. I'm going back to bed."
He shuffles back down to his bedroom, the door closing, and I'm left alone in his apartment. Suddenly, a wave of fatigue washes over me and I stumble to the sofa, falling asleep on it a few minutes after laying down.
I get about two hours of sleep before I wake up to someone screaming. It takes me a second to realize it's Aspect, and I stagger over to his bedroom. His screams are cold and raw and terrified, and I want them to stop.
"Hey what the fuck is going on?" I say, opening the door. Aspect is sitting upright in the middle of his bed looking like a lost child. He doesn't say anything, he just looks at me with teary eyes, and I don't know what to do. The windows are bare and pale knives of moonlight creep onto his bed, and across his chest and face. He's still sweaty and sick looking.
"I'm sorry." he whimpers, trembling. I inch closer, still unsure of what to do.
"It's ok. Do you need like water or something?" I offer. He shakes his head, coming down from the nightmare high.
"No, it's ok. I just uh...I need a smoke, you go back to bed." he says, getting up. If I was more awake, I would have leapt at the opportunity, but I was so tired...
I fall back onto the couch, going back to bed. Before sleep completely takes me under I hear the back door open and Aspect stepping out to light a joint.
