I prayed that what I was called for wasn't actually what I had heard. Obviously nobody wants to be called by the police to be told that their little brother was in custody and had to come be picked up, yet here I was, going to pick him up and sort out whatever shit he'd gotten himself into this time. The cops had told me he was in after getting caught stealing, which was certainly not what I planned on or wanted to hear in the middle of my fucking work shift, but that's out of my control I guess.
The car door slammed shut, loud enough to make me flinch. He didn't say a word as we drove back home. I didn't either, I was so tired of him doing stupid shit. I wished I was more angry, angry at the life he was making for himself, angry at the fact that he wasn't trying to fix his problems, angry that he probably wasn't aware of them at all, but I wasn't. Just tired.
I park in the driveway. Clear my throat.
"They said you were stealing milk." I get out, not as frustrated as I wanted to sound. Alan immediately tries to open the car door, but it's locked.
"Open the fucking door."
"Milk?"
He needs a haircut. When did his hair get so long?
"Let me out of the car."
His eyes are so fucking dark. I see my mom, and it hurts.
"We have milk in the fridge! Why the fuck were you trying to steal milk?"
My question isn't even answered, Alan's reaching over me to unlock the car himself. He closes it even harsher than before, snapping it shut and leaving me in the driver's seat. Alone. A surge of spite willed on my parents crashes into my head and I feel dizzy for a second. I never wanted to take care of Alan, and I'd be in...well I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them. Why the fuck did I have to end up with him?
I go inside a few minutes later. None of the lights in the living room are on, the area only lit by blocks of sunlight slowly creeping across the walls. I don't feel like turning them on and fall onto the couch, asleep in a few seconds.
---
When I wake up, I remember that I have a day off. God, I have a whole day off. So much precious time.
The morning light is cold and dull.
Alan is still sleeping.
I watch the world wake up while the water kettle boils in the background.
