Ncis : Facing the Past. (Ncis fan fiction)

Familiar faces.

Back in LA:

Rays of light drew open my tired eyes. Looking round my stomach lurched with a sense of sickness. Disorientated, I fumbled round, cold metal stung my sore hands. Reaching for the light switch, memories of the accident replayed in my head like a glitch in a tape. The bright hospital light flickered on and off, as I tried to remember how I ended up there. Nothing. As i began to focus on my surroundings more, i felt eyes watching me from the corner.

"Why?" A voice echoed from out of my sight causing me to jump, One I thought I knew. I could hear hurt as they spoke. "Why?" The voice repeated. Confused, I couldn't answer. "Why would you?" They repeated again, This time spoken with more haste. My parched lips, felt cold as I replied "why what?"

This time they were angry " why did you leave? Why? Was it us Kate?" I was stunned. Although I'd been throwing this situation round my head for years, now it was happening I was speechless. I'd rehearsed time after time in my mirror, but now he was here, to my face, I lost my nerve.

"Tony..." I began my eyes already filling with stinging tears. I couldn't continue. Footsteps echoed. My heart was beating faster, like a racing bull. "I'm so sor..." He interrupted me. "Don't insult me, kate. We both know apologising is a sign of weakness..." Everything he had said was correct. I needed to apologise because I was weak. I shouldn't have left all those years ago but there was nothing I could do. Weakness. More footsteps echoed from out side, stopping only momentarily to slam open the room door and storm in. Gibbs.

"Ta hell with insults DiNozzo! She owes us an explanation. NOW!" His voice shook me. After all he'd done, I felt guilty about leaving him the most. He'd reassured me when I was down, laughed with me when I was happy, helped me through tough times, like any good father figure would. And I repaid him with abandonment, grief and guilt. He had every right to be pissed. I would be.

I've watched him in interrogations over and over but I had a feeling I was going to be on a different side of the glass now. Gibbs strolled over towards my hospital bed. "Do you even know what you put us through Kate? Everyday second guessing whether we could have done something different. All that guilt was for nothing. " his face was right up against mine. His breath causing the hairs on my neck to stand. He was Watching me flinch.

"Gibbs I didn't..." I began.

"No you don't get a say! You only thought about yourself Kate, no one else. You couldn't trust me? Was that it, or did you just want to lie?" His words hit me hard. Pain was painted on Gibbs face. He was really hurt. I'd never seen him this way.

His shoes squeaked the tile floor as he turned out the room. The Silence pierced by my breathing. I turned to look at Tony. Expressionless he stared back. Tears rolled down my face, All the emotions I'd compressed for so many years were resurfacing. Tony was still stood like a statue. Unable to comprehend my actions. A few moments passed before He headed for the door. "I really cared Kate..." he said before following after Gibbs. Once again I was alone.

The clock ticked, restlessly as I counted my time away. I had learnt to cope with my feelings, but now my limits had been tested and I had cracked. Why me? Was I being punished. Those last words from years ago, re run in my head. Tonys face when he saw me again, a collage of pain. When he walked out i almost ran after him, wanting his forgiveness. Begging him to just stay and hear me out. Even if I deserved this they did not.

The soft silk fabric of the blanket soothed my skin, as I lay like foetus bawling. Acidic tears dripping from my cheek, onto the blanket below. I never knew I had hurt them this much. I'd thought all these years they'd forgotten me. Just another casualty of Ncis, I was wrong.

Suddenly swinging open, the door hit the colourless wall. I looked up hopeful that Tony had reconsidered, but the figure was female. "So your kate?" The women asked, Her feet softly scratching the floor as she edged closer. As she came into the light I could she was a blond, very pretty. Just like the classical movie stars of the past, she had a clear jawline, almost too perfect to be real. However, she was not dressed in a satin dress and heels, instead in an old pair of jeans and a pale jumper.

"Who wants to know?" I said sharply, Not wanting to talk to anyone right now. The girl saw this and stepped back a pace. An expression of confusion appeared as she once again looked me up and down. "Ncis special agent Bishop. I was told you were here." She exclaimed, extending her arm to greet me. Shaking it I calmed, I could see kindness in her eyes, she was not mad at me.

"You replaced me..." I asked, fumbling to sit up, but still frail from the accident I just fell back down. Bishop spoke again, however not answering my question "listen, I know you think they are mad at you. But they're just in shock, I promise. Just look. You know Gibbs better than me and if he didn't care, he wouldn't be here." Solemnly I looked down. Everything she had said made sense, I just wasn't accepting it in my heart. Agent Bishop saw the glint of scepticism in my watery eyes " I promise" she said repeating the words once more, before turning on her heel and walking out. I was wishing I'd never gone after the car outside my home, maybe then I wouldn't have to face all this, I could just run away.