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I stared out of the small oval shaped window reminiscing the last three dreadful years of my life in the matter of seconds.
It took five minutes, five long thoughtless minutes after the phone call I had received to pack up all of my things, a few rushed goodbyes before booking a plane ticket back to the one place I'd never once considered home.
To the one place I swore I'd never give another glance after watching the city I had grown up in grow smaller in the distance.
I continued to stare out of the window, watching the view become blurry as heavy droplets of rain clouded the window.
It was as if it was a sign. It rained on that day also, three years ago. After a while, I began to question if it only rained on bad days.
I laid back in the seat with the pillow behind me and adjusted the seating, trying to make myself more comfortable and more relaxed.
The flight home was a long one, I needed time and sleep in order to collect my thoughts before it all came tumbling down and the reality of the situation sunk in.
Risking another glance out of the blurry window as the airplane began to move forwards a soft smile formed on my face. New York was the most beautiful at night.
The entire city lit up and glowed like the fourth of July with all of the bright lights.
Something about it was extraordinary and never failed to leave me breathless each time.
A few months ago a group of my friends decided to go hiking for the first time and ended up getting lost in the middle of the night.
After walking in circles for hours they ended up in an abandoned area off the trail.
But there was this cliff where you could sit down without worrying about the ground grumbling and gaze down at the entire city.
They mapped that spot and took me there the very next night. It was the most mesmerizing view I had ever laid my eyes on.
The entire city, small but lit up by millions of colorful lights scattered all over. The view left me breathless each time no matter how many times I sat on that cliff by myself every night until the sun rose.
These were the rare parts I would miss, the things I would cherish deeply, a deep sensation of longing of sadness washed over me until my vision blurred with tears and cheeks became damp from the aching feeling deep inside of me.
My friends didn't deserve this, I didn't deserve them nor their friendship and love they had given me. They deserved someone who didn't rush goodbyes.
