A Guide to Our Love [gxg]

Chapter One

Alexia

Evelynne and I have been close since the day we met. I love that girl with all my heart. Completely platonically, of course, no romantic feelings at all. Okay, maybe I have some lingering feelings for her, but she will never love me back. So why even bother?

"LEX!" Evelynne yelled, startling me, "Quit daydreaming and focus. We need to get this project done. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Sorry. I didn't even realize I was. But I promise I'm good." I really didn't realize I was, but that happens a lot these days and Evelynne was starting to get concerned.

"Yeah, sure you are. Is it your anxiety again?"

"No, Eve. I promise I'm fine, just thinking." I didn't even think she really cared. It feels like she doesn't even want to be around me anymore. No. I will not go down that road. I'm probably just overthinking things again. 

I've had chronic depression and anxiety ever since I was little. My dad started to get concerned that I would have "meltdowns" over little things and couldn't get out of bed. It had started when my mom had left us and didn't even leave a not. He took me to a child psychologist when it got really bad. I was diagnosed and put on meds ever since.

Evelynne has always been supported of it. Or at least she used to be. She has been through all my highs and lows. She is truly just a great person. She's kind, supportive, beautiful ... aw fuck ... I can't stop thinking about her. I think I have more than a harmless crush on her. I'm completely gone on her, but it will never happen because she is completely gone on her boyfriend. Who she is just completely blinded by. He takes up all her time and she doesn't even seem to care. Which I can't even be mad about since he's kind of perfect. And she's happy so who am I to get in the way. Even if I end up heartbroken.

"ALEXIA!" Evelynne yelled again. "I'm starting to get really worried. You don't look too good. Maybe we should call it a night. "

"Yeah. I guess I should get going." I started picking my stuff up, trying to get out of there as fast as I could.

"What? Why are you leaving? I thought you were staying over. You always do."

"Yeah. But I really think I should go. Like right now." I ran out of her room as fast as I could. I went straight for my car, ignoring Evelynne and her mom calling after me. God, I don't know what I was thinking.

As soon as I got home, I felt tears starting to build up in my eyes. My chest started feeling tight and my breathing labored. I barely even noticed my dad opening the car door.

"Breathe in and out with me. In, out, in, out, in, out," my dad said to me. He kept repeating it until my breathing returned to somewhat normal. "Do you want to talk about what's wrong?" He asked while I still had tears running down my face.

"No. I just want to go inside," I croaked. He led me out of the car and into the house. He guided me to the couch and sat next to me. I leaned my head on his shoulder as he put his arm around me. "I love her, but she doesn't love me back," I said through tears.

"I'm sorry," my dad replied. "Is there anything I can do to make it better? I know it sucks being in that situation."

"Can you just sit here with me?"

I hated being in this situation. Stupid unrequited love. And for my best friend of all people. She's been texting ever since I left, but I just can't look at them. I hate looking at her and lying to her face. I don't want to worry her anymore. She has a good relationship and isn't going to leave him anytime soon. I started crying harder and my dad held me tighter. I just can't do this anymore.

What was I even thinking? I am crying over something pointless. I am fine with Evelynne being just a friend. Just a fucking friend. Oh God, I can't do this. I am as stupid as could be. How could I be fine with it? Just thinking about her made my heart hurt.

Take my advice while you still can. Never, ever, ever, fall in love with the person you are closest to. It will only end up hurting you.

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Authors note:

Hello. This is my first time writing something like this, so this isn't going to be the best. If you see something that's wrong or could be improved, tell me. I want to make this story as good as possible.

Thank you for reading!