Life Changing Memories

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Heartbreak

Heartbreak change everything. And too painful but we need to move forward.

Heartbreak. . .

What is the most painful? Breaking up or that certain person leaves permanently? Might be, still bearable if you will see the person you treasured being happy with someone. Than with the fact, there is no trace of that person being alive.

I found love and hope with him. But then, he left me broken. There's no point to shed a tears for him who doesn't know anything.

"You have to, isa pa it's your dream." I said, not wanting being a hindrance for attaining his dream.

"But. . ." I cut him off.

"What's the matter with?" tanong ko sa kanya. "dahil ba sa'kin?"

I let him pursued his dreams. Sa kadalihanang nangarap na siya o mas tamang sabihin na pangarap na niya iyon bago pa man ako dumating sa buhay niya. And I wanted to be a part of it, by supporting him. Kung mahal mo ang isang tao hahayaan mo siyang abutin ang pangarap niya. Let that person manifest the personality which was given to him or her. It doesn't mean that you're both into relationship, your personality would merge. You are your own as well as your partner, because relationship means working together as an equal.

That's how our relationship was. He was my first love and I thought he'll be my last. But everything became mess. I remembered those scenes playing in my mind.

"No its not. I just doubting about, I mean pwede ko namang hindi ituloy iyon." ika naman niya.

My forehead creased with what he said. "An opportunity, why would you not grab it? Alam ko namang gusto mo iyon dati pa." I said trying to let him see, what kind of opportunity he had. I don't want him to decline the offer, doon siya mag-aaral sa America. To pursue his dreams that someday he'll be a film director. Mismong pagkakataon na ang nagbukas ng oportunidad – isang napakagandang oportunidad.

"I know, pero pwede namang dito sa Pilipinas."

Kahit hindi man niya sabihin alam ko kung ano ang totoong reason niya. Keeping him from accepting the offer. I am not a pushy girlfriend, that I keep on insisting him to go. Ayaw ko lang na dumating siya sa pagkakataon na pinagsisihan niya na pinalagpas iyon.

"Go for it, kahit para sa'kin nalang."

He heaved a sighed, dahil sa kakulitan ko. Makulit na siguro ako sa makulit. I have to do my best para lang mapapayag siya.

"Okay, but I do have ultimatum."

Napakunot naman ang noo ko. What is that ultimatum anyway? "Ano naman 'yang sinasabi mong ultimatum?"

He just too unpredictable in many ways. And as far as I knew, hindi naman talaga kailangan.

"Go for your dreams as well." Ika niya, na siya namang nagpatahimik sa'kin. "I know, how you love writing. Don't let anyone choose for you."

He was the one who pursued me that I should write more. I should be fearless and brave enough to do the things I wanted. Yeah, he was not just my first love but also my number one supporter. Sa lahat ng taong nakilala ko, siya iyong isa sa mga tao na patuloy na nagbibigay suporta sa pagsusulat ko.

Na sa isang banda, isipin ko din naman ang sarili ko at huwag lagi ang iba. Na dapat hindi ako matakot sa kung anong posibleng ibato sa akin ng mga taong nasa paligid ko. Simply because of the thing I love to do.

And to make the story short, I agreed with. For him to pursued his dreams. I studied in prestigious college in the country, but I took the field that my parents wanted without him knowing it. He, on the other hand, went to abroad and study what he really wanted. We parted our ways, and chase for our own dreams. Staying supportive though we were oceans apart.