PraNish - No Straight Roads

Just a little more

Pratik

The show has been extended. It must be doing well. BB13 was extended and it was one of the best seasons, I hope ours can reach somewhat close to the greatness of the iconic season 13's level. I was so burnt out that I couldn't really enjoy the announcement. I was looking forward to go out, to rest, to confess perhaps to a lot of things to a lot of people, and mostly I was just done being around the toxic bunch of people in the house. I couldn't avoid them anyway now since the people left are the worst and since only they are the people left in house its hard to avoid them. Especially when your best friend keeps talking to them. My next best option to talk is Bichukle, Devo and Rakhi. Rakhi is a flipper. Bichukle is disrespectful to me. Devo is... complicated. If I could I would talk to Nishant all day but we have our limits too.

                                   ***

TTF Task

"Do what you want Nishant-"

"Pratik no main-"

"I don't mind if you play for Teja." I do fvcking mind but I am no one to stop you. I have no right.

"Tu pagal hai kya? I am not playing for her and if you lose this I will k*ll you Pratik, I swear. Jaan laga deni hai!" He said smiling. His mind was fresh, he looked determined and his words felt honest. Yesterday, he was all muddled up. If I was in his position my choice would have been clear. I understand his mind, he was playing mind games with others but sometimes I want him to stand firmly and openly for me. Every one in the house knows, probably even the world by now knows that Nishant and Pratik belong to each other so why can't he own it up? I would scream at the top of my lungs that I would pick him over anyone. I ignored my feelings and focused on the game. I must win this ttf and secure my position for my fans. I must manifest good things, I must win this game. Everything else will take a back-seat for me now.

                                    ***

Morning Fight

He called my mother stupid. I lost my sh*t. I broke whatever I got in my hand. I even pushed him slightly. I had not done this even last time. I could leave this show right now and give up my trophy to him and serve it up to him in a platter by throwing this man on the ground to beat him up. Shamita took a stand for me. Nishant did too but Shamita's voice was loud and clear. She has been taking stands for me openly. Her sanchalan was very well done too, she didn't go openly biased but also helped me whenever needed. Now, she helped me stay calm. She screamed at Karan. Nishant went to talk to Karan alone. As usual, he would now give him his sensible gyan. Sometimes, I don't understand people like him who are so ready to pushed down by people like Karan and get used and thrown away. What I do for Bichukle is the one exceptional case which involves me doing bartan for him but Nishant has been told how much sh*t Karan has spoken for him and even planned against him yet even now he is gonna counsel him, Karan would probably apologize to me now. I don't care. I was so angry, I just wanted to beat up Karan. I was so infuriated I thought I would end up fighting Nishant so I just stayed on my own all morning.

Nishant

This week was so stressful for me. I gave up my TTF for Pratik. It wasn't such a big deal for ME but for this show where taking your own stand is such a big deal I looked like a fool again for Pratik. I have been looking like a fool for most of the part I'm sure but when I care for someone I go to lengths to make things work. I have been taking all Karan's BS, I know. I do this because I care for him but Pratik? I love that man. I can't even get angry at Pratik the way I can scream and curse Karan. I can't tell him how I feel anymore because I am afraid to spill a little too much. I managed to tell him that I have expectations from him, it was a big step for me. I have to take my steps very calculatedly with Pratik now that I want this to work outside. Before I didn't care, I thought I would block him and move on. Now, I am fvcked. I am so afraid to lose him. He told me a few days ago "ab bohat hogya, ab nahi baat karuga but Main tujhe maaf kardeta hu, tere jaise se kabhi mila nahi hu na." He was smiling and blushing when he said that and I blushed too but after some introspection those lines seemed like a threat. I felt like I have been walking on thin ice. A day could come where he would get tired of my emotional outbursts. I can't let him get tired of me before we leave and I can properly tell him how I feel.

Pratik

I was given a choice between Shamita and Nishant. I obviously didn't see Nishant as a competition, Hell, if he wins over me I would still be happy. I can't give that explanation since my fans would be angry with me that I don't care about winning it for myself. Shamita took strong stands for me openly all week, I was a little mad at Nishant because of Karan so I just pushed him down and gave a random reason which was in fact a half a ranting session about how much I hated the fact that Nishant played a diplomatic game. I didn't even choose my words properly, I didn't think half of the things I said. I waited for him to give it back to me but he didn't smile, joke, rant, or even get pissed about it. He was being casual with me later the task. Did he not care? Did he take it as a joke? Why can't he question me? He has every right to blast at me.

Nishant

"Nishant ko main competition nahi manta hu" Pratik said and pushed me down the pedestal. I didn't even hear what he had to say. I didn't even look at him. I just kept my face straight and went back to me seat. Pratik and I interacted normally about this and that but I didn't even bring it up. My heart was shattered and I had no words. It was our shared dream to reach the finale together and now he doesn't even see me as his competition. I went to the bathroom while struggling to keep a straight face till I reached the door to open it. I cried a little, came out and washed my face. I'll say nothing to him, I decided.

"Bss do hafte aur...just hold on a little more, Nishant!" I said to myself.