Skullfuck {5SOS;CASHTON&MUKE}✔️

Nine

"Why the fuck am I surrounded by idiots?"

The ginger haired man ducked in just enough time to avoid the glass hitting him, still getting hit by the smashed glass after it crashed against the wall and splashed its liquids across the wall and him. He scrambled out quickly at Michael barking at him to leave, shutting the door and leaving the man alone as his breaths came out raggedly.

He fell back into his seat, threading his fingers into his hair as time moved onto the second week of Luke's abduction from his home, pulling roughly at his scalp in frustration. He had picked the best of what he knew to handle what he thought was the worst of his life in Luke, regretting it now with the fact that the other couple was too much of the best. He lacked in anyone to turn to for finding the skull faced couple, no one knew anything of help and even those he felt did were clearly more terrified of whatever they would do over what he could.

He wanted Luke back with him, wanted the blond even if he knew it was going to change like it already had. The silence was something he had missed at first with Luke around, had reveled in soon after with actually being able to think without Luke screaming in his ear all the time or having to run around after him for whatever the blond was freaking out about or destroying suddenly. He liked the peace, loved it if anything with it not being a thing that he normally had or really did even have with his line of work.

He needed the chaos Luke brought around, that he had created the blond into- forced the blond to become even though Luke had been the complete opposite before. He did want Luke to be more controlled, wasn't put off by the fact that the other couple he hired had been torturing Luke or whatever they were doing at the moment. This fire had roared at the thought of Luke's being murdered, especially by someone that wasn't Michael.

It was a possessiveness filling him in a way that hadn't for the many years he had Luke and possession had turned into apathy in so many ways and that had turned Luke's love to obsession and then into a violent, destructive fight to keep Michael's attention at a constant. He knew it was his fault Luke was that way, had used everything in his power to force Luke to conform into the box he wanted of a lover that depended on him, that would choose madness rather than defeat in the face of his love and affections.

He broke Luke, shattered him like a person trying to hide from their own reflection in a mirror, punching the glass only to create a bigger illusion of themself. He had shattered Luke, unaware of the sharp and deep cuts he had placed onto himself in the process of handling a broken man. He was aware now, at least thinking he was self aware of his own feelings when Luke knew he wasn't. He knew Michael would never know what he wanted from him, that he wanted the chase and the process of destruction but not to handle the aftermath and look at the ruin that surrounded him where he stood.

He had known for years the type of man he loved, the truth had long been seen in Michael and Luke had listened to countless people trying to save him from something he had fallen for. He never tried to stop himself, never took the ways out he could have because he knew it was pointless. Something was messed up inside of Michael, something controlling and distorted that Luke always felt the Easiest way to deal with him was to submit until it passed.

He didn't know anything else, had grown used to Michael that he felt any chance at normalcy was shot. How could he adjust to true and honest love? How would he ever feel safe and comfortable with someone else if Michael still lurked around, when the man still could exist and take it all away, when he would always plague his mind and heart? When he couldn't trust himself around anyone else? He wished he could but knew it was useless. He knew he was too far gone to be able to readjust to a normal love. What was normal love?

He wasn't even sure of it anymore, liked to look at Calum and Ashton and view them as a balanced love, although they lacked heavily in anything being typical. Did he want that? Mere balance with the sacrifice of normal? Did he want a plain, simple love? Could he handle it? Did he want it? He liked what Calum and Ashton had with each other, how they cared for each other, how Calum acted every time he screamed at the man about Ashton when he didn't mean it, when he had begun to care for the two of them, feared being something that tore them apart in some way.