FOR BETTER OR WORSE

Chapter 9- Not How I Planned

Lauren's POV

Lolita pulled back the curtains allowing the sun to beam into the room.

"It's time to get up!"

I groaned and pulled the covers over my head. I had fallen into a deep depression and didn't want to be bothered by anyone.

"You need to pull yourself together. Whatever you're going through can't be that bad. Remember Nicholas has his championship game tonight."

Little did she know it was actually THAT bad. It felt like my entire world was ending.

"Do you need me to take the kids off your hands for awhile?"

I found it ironic that she would offer considering she never showed up to help me all those years I was being molested by my own father.

I tossed my legs to the side of the bed and sat up. "No, it's fine." I said with attitude.

She could sense my hostility. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Why didn't you save me from my father?" I was done sugarcoating it.

She kissed her teeth. "Lauren we're not doing this. We've had this discussion a million times."

I stood from the bed and followed her out of the room. "I just can't help but think about it every time you offer to take the kids off my hands."

She tossed her hands up in frustration. "That was the past and I've admitted my mistakes. It's time to move forward."

"No, I wanna know." I continued. "I need closure. Maybe that's why I have such horrible taste in men.—maybe it's because I don't know what a good man is."

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face me. "Don't you go blaming yourself for whatever it is you and Rio are going through."

Tears formed in my eyes and I tried my best to hold them back. "Why do I keep putting up with it?"

She grabbed my hand and led me back into the bedroom. "You don't want the kids to see you like this."

"I'm tired of holding in my emotions." I cried while sitting on the edge of the bed. "I can't take this anymore."

"I'm not telling you how to live your life but he is your husband. You vowed to be with him for better or for worse."

"Right, I vowed to be with him. Did he not take the same vows as me?"

She took a seat next to me. "I'm not sure what you both are going through but people sometimes make mistakes that can be forgiven and some can not. Is this something he can come back from?"

I gave it some thought. All of the good times we had flashed through my head but it wasn't long before all the hurt and pain he's caused me overshadowed it.

"I can't take him back after this." I answered with hurt.

"So you are at the point of no return?"

I looked at her with hurt in my eyes. "I am."

She softly patted my hand. "I have just the lawyer to refer you to."

Never in a million years did I see myself divorcing Mario but I've been through so much in my life it was time I found my happiness.

After talking on the phone to the lawyer Aunt Lo referred me to, I turned on the shower and stepped in.  The hot water ran down my body as I cried hysterically. I love him so much.

"Ma, are you okay?" Nicholas asked from the other side of the door.

I quickly wiped away my tears and cleared my throat. "Yes Nick, I'm fine baby." I lied. I was far from fine.