it was few days ago when I started to hide.
I started to spent time with myself,
Infront of my phone and a netbook that i borrowed to a close friend.
I tried to hide maybe to build myself up.
I tried to minimize my interaction to many people as soon as I can
I've been handling this, quite for a long time now.
I've been keeping this myself for these are the decisions I made, myself.
I believe I should handle this by myself.
I felt left apart, by the time and the opportunities.
I felt left behind by the thrill and excitement
I was stuck here all alone, depending to what people can offer back to me
I was quiet, tend to sleep a lot
I was running from reality
Stuck in my fiction world
Watch dramas and movies
Or read novels that can make my emotions revealed
In those way, I could cry, laugh, feel loved, feel thrilled, and feel the freedom.
I can express what i need to express
I can removed my mask
I can voice out my emotions
I can be quite the real me.
I tried to soak in that dark side of my room
Trying to embrace the freedom I nearly lost
I tried to read again and to watch
I tried to be someone I want to be
The year is near to its end
If i would given a chance to wish
Maybe I would wish for happiness
Happiness that won't need to rely to someone else.
Someone told me and wish me the same thing
That someone I envy the most
That someone can do things, anything he wants to
He can easily convince himself with the freedom that we truly need as a human being.
I may not in the caged of reality
but I am in the cage of what they called expectations
i am caged in the curse of not being me
in fear of no one could accept me.
