Meant to be (Superman & Lois fic)

~Chapter seven~

Lois POV:

I'm laying on Clark still trying to process everything that just happened a few hours ago. I usually would talk to Clark about this, but he's currently sleeping I mean it is 2 AM and I'm not going to wake him up for a conversation that we can have tomorrow. Especially since he hasn't been sleeping well these past few days which is what usually happens when he worries about me.

Honestly I don't want to believe this, I wanted the past 24 hours to have been a dream. Which I hate myself for wanting that everything that just happened wasn't real because that's like saying I wish this baby that's growing inside me wasn't a thing and I know that's not what I want. I mean at first when we found out earlier I was initially in shock and couldn't think straight it felt like my whole world was crashing down and everything was falling on top of me but now I'm kind of hopeful I guess is the right word for what I'm feeling.

Now since I've had a little time to process it a bit on my own I'm not sure how I feel about this whole situation I know I want the baby and Clark does too that's not really the things I'm worried about. The thing I'm terrified about is the thought that this is going to end up like last time. I know I shouldn't think like that ,believe me I try my hardest not to but ever since Natalie- I mean it takes over my life it's like I can't forget.

It's all I can think about some days on others it affects me other ways. Like I could be writing something for work and all of the sudden that day, the day we lost her, every single agonizing second of that day just replays in my mind over and over like a record player playing the exact same thing constantly non-stop.

I can't really talk about it to anyone either except Clark of course what am I supposed to go to a therapist and say "oh hi my husbands Superman and I just had a miscarriage". It's really hard sometimes especially since we couldn't even tell the boys about it until earlier this year because we didn't like to think about it let alone talk about it much.

I decide I should try and get some sleep to have at least some energy tomorrow since Clark made us an appointment to go to the DOD to see my O.B. just to find out how far along I am and if the baby's ok to ease our anxiety. Especially since we want to tell the boys as soon as possible given that Jordan's anxiety has been off the charts since I've been sick so telling them will make it easier on everyone.

It was hard finding an O.B. last time because only a select group of people know that Clark is Superman and the doctor needs to know how to understand kryptonian and human genes essentially. Turns out one of the doctors at the DOD was an O.B. before she got hired to work there I also happened to know and trust her. Clark did as well so she does all our baby related appointments. Honestly I'm nervous I don't know what to expect it's not like this situation is familiar to either of us.

Clark POV:

I wake up before Lois does so I get up as quietly as possible to make sure I don't wake her so she can sleep a bit more. I don't think she slept much last night she kept tossing and turning trying to get comfortable. I could tell she was trying to process everything when she does that shes not going to sleep until she figures out exactly how she feels. So I decided to let her sleep in a bit before her appointment.

I throw on some plain dark blue jeans and a burgundy short sleeve shirt before going back into our room to wake her up. I sit on the bed and carefully hug her from behind she hugs my arm and rolls over so she's facing me. She pulls me closer and hugs me as tight as she can, I look at her eyes, still closed shielding her eyes from the brightness of our room and kiss her forehead softly.

She puts her head back on my chest while I play with her hair. "We got to get up babe you have to get ready the appointment remember you got to get up" I remind her. She groans faintly while stretching and trying to wake up. She slowly gets up and puts on a purple shirt and some black leggings with some black sneakers. "I forgot how cute you are" she says groggily "well you are the most beautiful girl in the world and I should know I have been everywhere" I laugh. I love when she's tired and says random cute things. I take her hand in mine then we left for her appointment.