Eddie's POV (eddie thinks in 3rd person)
eddie jolted awake, muscles spazzing. the man who hoists him in the air while he sleeps trembled breath him. "PUT ME DOWN" screeched eddie's soprano voice. the man quickly lowered him and vanished from sight at the pure sight of tedward kerraan. that fiddley little dream scared his right sock off of his fat fiddley foot. he growled and licked his lips noisily. edward cullen... thought eddie. eddie's heart was racing, faster than a derby horse on a friday afternoon. he yelped when he crumbled down the stairs, rolling like a snail on a thursday afternoon. he skedaddled downstairs, and grabbed two oven mitts that were too large for his hand. he squished his face between them and swung it around and around at superhuman speed. he clicked his heels and imagined he was tap dancing on cullens face. in a state of pure rage, he crab walked across the kitchen, clicking his little hands together in harmony with the tears falling down his face.
that fiddley little bumpkin boi
that... that scrumdiddly scampi shrimppy white tailed deer. how dare he take my precious little pumpkin girl and turn her against me. blasphemy
Y/N knocks on the door. Eddie heard the knock and breakdanced to the door. As the ovenmitted hand opens the door, Y/N spins around. Eddie sees her orange hair, eyebrows, freckles, and eyelashes. Next he took in her orange teeth, ears, finger nails. He welcomed her in a loud yip of excitement and nerves. Eddie takes Y/N orange pumpkin flavored coat, he licked it taking in the mesmerizing taste. He hung up her orange coat and fetched her some pumpkin juice. She took it, taking a hearty nibble from the rim of the cup. Eddie wiggles his finger at her, "no no my fiddley little lasso!!! That's not how you drink pumpkin juice!" Then Eddie remembers that Y/N cheated on him on his dream. he growled and went onto all fours, running in circles like a furry orange predator. he reared onto his hind legs, raising the roof. he swipes scissors off of the counter, grabbing 14 and ½ pieces of hair and nips them down to the size of a baby carrot. eddie... eddie now has bangs.
Y/N looks on in awe. "eddie, you're so wild and free. i-i-i wish i had the forehead to pull of those bangs. you look like trisha paytas."
eddie looks at her with twitching eyes "okay" he says. he gallops off into the sunset.
Y/N leaves.
