Chapter 9

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‘We’re both the same’, she said
Me and Zenna had decided to meet up at college, in private, to talk.
‘What?’, I asked
‘I know what you are… because I am the same, trust me’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘The person I like is not you…’, she said
‘Then?’
‘It’s Neha’
I took some time to process this information.
‘Okay great! Then leave me alone now’, I tried to sound as unbothered as possible. I understood where she was going now. I don’t want this conversation to continue any further.
‘And I know that you like Shubham’, she said ‘See there is nothing to be ashamed about-’
Her voice blurred. Background noises of other students in the campus, blurred. I could hear the shoring rain clearly, and my heart beating in my chest. My head did not hurt this time, nor did I panic. I was calm, shook. Angry maybe.
‘WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?’, I said. So, she did know!
‘Raj, I noticed you take particular interest in him. That’s why I assumed that-’,
‘What do you mean that you “assumed”?’, I raised my voice ‘I DO NOT LIKE HIM! And if you have no interest in me, then why would you tell everyone that you liked me?’
‘I only told Neha and Shubham… because I wanted to help you’, she said
‘Help!?’
‘You can only be happy if you accept who you are and…’, she continued
I was at a lack of words. Now I understand why men choose to stay silent at times, it’s because we have so much to say, but we don’t know how to.  
‘I am sorry… I didn’t mean to meddle like this. Im sorry’, she said
I sighed.
‘Please don’t tell anyone what I told you’, she said
‘I won’t’, I looked away.
‘And please don’t let it bother you…’
‘Sure’
I left.

I sat in class, thinking about what had happened. The raining had stopped now. How could she tell? Was I that obvious?  Now that I think about all the interactions we had, one could certainly assume it that way. Not that I am surprised… but I thought I was more careful this time. One slip up and I’m out, so, I acted as normally as possible. But im out again.
‘Raj, can you give examples of applied engineering in everyday life?’, professor’s voice startled me out of my thoughts
I took time to come back to present.
‘Electric power, Automobiles, Machines, Circuit boards, Instruments used by doctors, Defense etc.’, I said with forced confidence.
‘Okay good. So, as I was saying…’ and it all slowly faded again.

I saw Zenna again at the book club. She looked at me with a pitiful expression. Neha asked if anyone wanted to volunteer at college library for help. No one offered.
‘Okay…’, Neha said awkwardly and smiled, Zenna smiled back at her. Then they went about with their way.
I looked at Shubham, he was smiling and talking with Neha. Would he ever smile like that for me…? Zenna noticed me looking at him. I quickly looked away.
I got up from the chair and picked up my sack from the table. I was leaving when Neha came up to me
‘Hey Raj, would you like to help us in Library?’, she said
From back, Shubham and Zenna were both glaring at us.
‘Um… I have basketball practice now…’, I said
‘Oh okay’, she said

‘Where’s your mind?’, Abhi asked
We were practicing in open lawn. We had to practice passing ball today, and I missed almost all of them.
‘Nowhere. I am just tired’, I said
Abhi sighed.
‘Let’s take a break for today’, he said
We sat on the bench. I saw Mayur coming, he was wearing white shirt and pant, with knee pads, gloves and helmet. He walked with other guys dressed like him. He waved them bye and came to us.
Abhi and Mayur talked. Then they turned to me.
‘Raj?’, Abhi asked
‘Hm?’
‘You were hanging out with Zenna Alraaz yesterday, right?’
‘To watch a movie’, Mayur added
‘How do you guys know?’, I asked
‘She put it on her Instagram story and tagged you in it!’, Abhi said
‘She did?’
‘Yeah’
‘You guys know each other?’, Mayur asked
‘We’re in the same club, that’s why… How do you know her?’, I asked
‘She’s the hottest girl in campus, so of course we know her-’, Abhi said
Abhi stopped talking, he and Mayur fixated across to lawn. “The hottest girl in campus”, Shubham and Neha were walking together. They must be going home, from library. Shubham was walking ahead of them, he spotted me and raised his hand in acknowledgement. I raised mine too. Zenna turned to see me and then turned back. I didn’t react. They left.
‘She looked at us!’, Abhi exclaimed

Abhi and Mayur had stuck to me whole day, interrogating me about Zenna. I was soo lost in thought that I don’t even remember what they asked and what I told. Now it was evening and I was in my apartment. I was trying to study. But I don’t think I did. My head is such a mess.
I got up from my study table and went in the kitchen to fix myself a coffee. I like lukewarm coffee better, so I made one.
I stood against the kitchen counter sipping my coffee. I checked my phone. I had a few texts from my mom.
Mom: Call us when you are free 😀
I definitely am not free right now.
I also had a text from Zenna.
Zenna: I am sorry.
You don’t have to be, I thought. I mean she wasn’t wrong. I sighed. Someone else in my place would have found it ridiculous that she assumed it that way. Me getting angry only proved her right. 
Maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at her. I remember she was talking about helping me…? How was she trying to help me?
I finished my coffee and washed the cup.

Author's note:
To be honest i was thinking about how to increase engagement on wattpad. So i think writing an authors note will be a good idea. Or will it? I'll find out. Anyways I'm already working on chapter 10, hopefully it'll be out soon. (I've been feeling very creative lately hehe)
So yeah enjoy.

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