Lover Is A Day

Chapter 16

It was evening now and I was back in my room. It was dark already, so I turned on the lights of my room.
I had studied for some time, and now had decided to take a break. I had a few messages from mom, a few from friend groups and one from Shubham.
A text message from him makes me happy.
Shubham: Hey!
Did you reach home?
You: Yes
He instantly replied.
Shubham: What are you doing?
You: Studying
Shubham: Oh
Had dinner?
You: Not yet
Shubham: Oh okay
I don't feel bad about not speaking enough anymore. He is aware that I don't dislike him or anything, and that talking less is just my nature. For as long as I can remember I have always been a quiet person. People would say that I was an awfully quiet kid. Sometimes people get offended, if you don't match their social energy. I've been told to speak up more often. But I for one, do not care about anybody else. But Shubham however, does not see this as a problem. He talks to me on and on about everything that he feels, and thinks and wants to say, and when I speak, he listens to me intently as if there is soo much value in what I have to say. Honestly... I could listen to him talk forever, and tell him everything that I know and spend all my time with him, and not even feel the slightest bit regret about it.
What is this feeling?
I texted him again.
You: Did you eat yet?
Shubham: I am going to
You should too :-)

For dinner, I usually go downstairs to eat mess food, but its always the same; Dal rice. Or I out to a cheap restaurant with Abhi and Mayur. Sometimes I make something like Maggi. Today I am feeling particularly bored to do either.
After self lamenting for some time, I got over myself, and ate maggi in silence. I checked my phone again; I had completely overlooked a text from Zenna.
Zenna: I'm coming over
I got up and put my used plate in sink.
You: What?
Why?
Don't come
I tried calling her, but she didn't pick up. She didn't read my text either.
My doorbell rang. I quickly opened the door.
She showed me a black plastic bag in her hand, 'Can I come in?', she asked
I looked behind her in both the directions to see if anybody was there, there was no one. I let her in and closed the door.
'Did anyone see you coming up?', I asked
'No'
'Not even the dorm lady?'
'Nope', she said 'And if anyone did, just tell them that I'm your sister or cousin or something'
'Its not like that-', I sighed
How come the owner lady is letting everyone in. First Abhi and Mayur, then Shubham and now her. Every time I see the owner, she always greets me at the counter infront of the entrance, I have to remind myself to be polite to her. The owner is a gossip. And although "opposite-sex friends" are allowed to visit, I had never bothered that I would find myself in a such situation.
Zenna walked and looked around in my room. 'Is that it?', she asked after walking into my kitchen.
'You have a small room', Zenna said
Come to think of it., for the last three days in a row, I haven't had one peaceful evening.
'What do you want?', I asked
'Let's go to the terrace', she walked past me and opened the door
I crossed my arms. I would have stayed and argued, but I know that would've been a waste. She nudged at my elbow.
'I have beer', she said in a scornful tone
I rolled my eyes and followed her.
'I don't drink', I said
'Since when?'

I lived on the 3rd floor of my 4-storied dorm. I walked behind her till the terrace. Keeping an eye, seeing to it that no one saw us. The last thing I wanted was for someone to see us and make up rumors.
I walked into the terrace. Ever since I moved in, I had never come up here. It was dark and shadowy. There was a big water tank to our right and a few Tata sky and Airtel dish tv's here and there.
'Let's sit here', she said pointing at supposedly clean tiles somewhere.
I sat down next to her. And looked up at the sky. It was starry and I could see the half moon. I wonder what phase it would be in right now. I realized that some people's entire livelihood depends on moon and its phases.
'Want?', Zenna asked, showing Budweiser
I shook my head. She took out a tetra pack from her bag and handed it to me. It was apple juice. I gave her a look.
'Pretend its beer and drink'
It was cold, I felt its wetness against my hand., and looked back at the sky.
We both sat in silence. She too looked at the sky and gulped beer.
'Im gonna tell her', she said
'Tell what?', I asked
'Neha, that I love her'
A chilly breeze passed by us.
I looked at her
'Now?'
She nodded. 'I think it is time'
There was a pause again. But this time it felt intended.
'When Shubham asked her out, I realized that he could give her what I never can... a normal life. The fear that I had held on for soo long, and suddenly I felt soo unsure of everything...'
I realized that I wasn't the only one who had felt that way. She too had much to lose.
'I knew she wouldn't accept him, and that she doesn't like him., but I was soo scared that I could be wrong', she said
I wished she wouldn't cry, because I don't know how to comfort people when they cry. But she didn't.
'There is something between us, I have always known that. And though we never say it out loud., I know it's there, I can just feel it.', she continued
'We have known Shubham since junior college and I knew that he liked her too. And I wanted him to confess, because I knew how liking her felt like. I wanted it to be fair, and for her to make the decision'
'But what would you have done if she had chosen him?', I asked, not realizing that my question was capable of hurting her.
She looked down for a moment.
'I would stop then', she said, 'I... love her, and I would continue loving her even then, but I wouldn't bother her with my feelings then', she said
She looked very vulnerable, yet strong. She was different, different from when I had heard my male friends talk about the girls they liked, or even how Shubham talked about Neha. Zenna seemed genuine.
Is this what love does to people?
'That is impressive', I said and sipped apple juice.

Authors Note: I've made a Spotify playlist on Lover Is A Day. Its a collection of songs that inspired me and I listened to while writing this book, and or the songs I associate with this book. You can listen to this playlist while reading this or just listen to it for the vibes

[Playlist is in my bio]

And thank you soo much for reading Lover Is A Day, it means alot to me. If you liked this chapter then please like and comment ~