Jade (Yuzuru Hanyu)

5 - Yuzuthon

"But seriously, I just don't understand how he can be covered in feathers, crystals, ruffles all the time and still be this intimidating? If I were the one wearing those I would probably look like a 70-year-old grandma's sugar baby."

Sonya burst into laughter and dropped the piece of chicken she has just bitten out of her mouth while Eiji was looking at the screen with a really confused look. He was just so cute, I pinched his cheeks,

"Me neither buddy, me neither."

We were in my living room, watching the 2017 Autumn Classic. Since there weren't many competitions to watch from that season, we were also planning to watch some from the next one.

"He can't be human. I'm telling you he.just.can't. Jade, you need to follow him to his office, I bet he takes off his human flesh suit from time to time to breathe. Then we can bust him."

"I think you should do it with Sonya. Because apparently whenever I try to do something even remotely related to him, I'm the one getting busted."

Then we moved on to the Rostelecom Cup.

Sonya instantly started whining while bringing our second beer from the kitchen,

"I would be so freaking annoyed if I managed to do my first ever quad lutz and still came second..."

"Believe me he most certainly made his night a living hell. No one can possibly be crueler to him than he himself. At least he is not doing the same to me."

After the Rostelecom cup, Tami took the list from the coffee table,

"Ok, since he had the injury we will skip directly to the Olympics."

Unfortunately, I had a bit of a problem with that Olympics. Let's just say his short program was...doing things to me. I didn't have a problem with other competitions where he used the same program but, I don't know. I stopped questioning myself a long time ago.

"Let's just watch Seimei, it's Eiji's favorite."

I suggested and Tami flashed me an evil grin, "Why Jade? Are you afraid you won't be able to stop yourself from jumping his bones tomorrow?", immediately receiving a hit to her head with a throw pillow.

"Stop it."

The grin stayed plastered on her face while she was selecting Seimei. The first notes of the music instantly took me to the day I saw him live, also the only day where I felt completely belonged to Japan. Before that, I never felt like I truly belonged to Japan or England. The whole program was absolutely magical and never ceases to amaze me regardless of how many times I watch it.

The night was going great until we broke the first rule of Yuzuthon and fell into the fan-made edit pit. This was the first rule because once you start there is no going back. After watching some of our favorites, we saw one we didn't watch before.

"Yuzuru Hanyu a.k.a The G.O.A.T [NOT TODAY]"

"Wow."

"This was just..."

"Yeah..."

"Tell me how have you NOT fucked him yet?! Can you just imagine how hard he can fuck you into the mattress with those thighs?!!"

I looked at her, my mouth agape as if she had just eaten a baby squirrel alive.

"TAMI!!! Stop traumatizing her! Sonya came and pushed my chin up, closing my mouth. Then patted my cheek "There there".