Don't know what to do without you [Chaennie Fanfic]

Chapter 9 - Honesty

They slow walk home felt like a dreadful eternity to Jennie and Rosé. Both of them had questions, but neither of them brought up the courage to open their mouths. When they finally arrived at home, they brought Jennie into the living room and placed her onto the couch. Jennie was shivering at this point. It was a relatively warm summer night, but even that couldn't safe her from the fact that the clothes she wore were very thin and offered little protection in the middle of the night. At least the long walk in the fresh air helped her clearing her head again. Still, she was mentally exhausted, but sleep was no option right now, even if she tried. There was a massive elephant in the room and it needed to be addressed, Jennie knew that. Actually, there were more than one. Jennie was sitting on the couch, head hanging low while Lisa and Jisoo stood directly in front of her, arms crossed in front of their chests while Rosé was standing a bit further behind. She did not say a single word on their way home. Jennie couldn't get the look on Rosé's face, when she saw Jennie and Valerie kissing out of her mind. When Jennie stormed out of the house, she was so angry at Rosé for the way she felt because of her. But when she saw the way Rosé looked at her when she caught them, something inside Jennie broke. Despite how hurt Jennie was, she did not want Rosé to suffer the same way she did. The silence went on until Jisoo started speaking.

"So, Jennie, I think you've got some explaining to do. We already interrogated Rosé thoroughly, but we'd like to hear your side of the story."

Jennie nervously bit her lower lip while thinking about whether she should tell her friends or not. No, this was not even up for debate. Today alone she butchered her arm, got drunk in a bar, almost fucked with this hot but totally unknown girl and then let Rosé almost get beat up by said hot girl. This has gone on for way too long and Jennie realized that know. It's just...

"I... I don't even know where to begin.."

"For starters, how about you take off that bandage?" Lisa suggested and pointed towards Jennie's forearm.

I should've guessed it.

Jennie let out a sigh and slowly started taking off the bandage. The more skin she revealed, the more the expressions of her friend's faces changed. When her arm and with it, the scars and cuts were uncovered, Lisa held her hands in front of her mouth which stood open in shock and even Jisoo was at loss for words. Since she did not know what to say, Jisoo closed the distance to Jennie and embraced her in a warm hug. Jennie immediately wrapped her arms around her friend and it felt so good being able to accept her friend's affection again. They remained like this for a few seconds until Rosé stepped next to Jennie and took her arm in her hands. She inspected it closely, gently let her fingers glide across the cuts. It didn't hurt, yet Jennie shivered at her touch. And then, Rosé was finally able to bring out the question the burned in her throat since they suspected Jennie of doing something like this to herself.

"These cuts... are these... did you... because of me?"

What was Jennie supposed to say to that? She didn't want to lie anymore. She couldn't keep any more secrets. But how do you tell the person you love the most that she is in fact the reason you purposefully cut yourself? As it turned out, Jennie didn't had to say anything. Her silence told Rosé anything she had to know. When Rosé realized what pain she caused to Jennie, she started to cry. Jennie couldn't look at Rosé, her gaze was frozen on the ground so that she didn't had to talk to her. After all, what could she possibly say to her? There was no way to sugarcoat it. Rosé hurt Jennie deeply and when Jennie couldn't handle the emotional pain anymore, she cut herself severely. That's what happened, plain and simple. Through Rosé's sobbing, her apology was barely understandable.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." She repeated those words over and over again, as if she could undone what happened that way. But above all, she didn't have anything else to say. Rosé only calmed down when she felt Jennie's soft touch on her cheek.