Free me I beg you| vent

I'm still smiling!

Continuation of the previous story

I sat down, smiling. Oh, my friends are here. Will they ignore me again, while they’re enjoying themselves next to me? What should do? They always say I’m thinking too much. I’m still smiling I think. Oh, they’re gone now. Did I zone out again? Can i confirm that they’re actually gone? Am l actually here? Is this the right reality? Shoot, there are still people around. I don’t want to cause a scene, bother people. Oh no… are they looking at me? God, I’m such a mess… I probably bother them just by staying there…

Ugh, I smell horrible. I’m deteriorating, again. I should… no, I can’t ask for help. They’ll judge me, they’ll pity me, they’ll stay away from me. I need to smile still.

Wait, why is my face wet? Is this why they’re staring at me?

No, no no no no no no no… I’m doing it for attention right? I’m fine! I have a roof over my head, I have amazing friends, parents that love me, i’m great!

Why won’t the tears stop? Im still smiling!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

You’re just an attention seeker, stop…

I beg you…

Stop thinking…

…

Stop smiling