after the kitchen incident, things moved forward as they always do between you and draken. as if nothing happened. without any proper talk, apologies, no nothing.
but it was okay.
as long as it was draken, it's okay.
you sighed, staring at your reflection in the mirror. you were fixing yourself, ready to give him a surprise visit. you knew where he lived, but not once did he let you enter his home. you knew what kind of place it is, of course. but did you mind? no. recently though, he spoke to you about coming whenever you wanted. whether it was driven by guilt of his previous actions towards you, or just him finally letting you in, either way, you were truly glad.
"i don't want to see you destroying yourself.."
you didn't know why, but diana's words suddenly echoed in your head. you felt bad for choosing to ignore her words. you knew she was right. but draken- draken felt like drug. you weren't sure how this obsession started, maybe it was that time? but one thing you know for sure is that so long as you can still hold onto him, there was no reason for you to let go.
it was what you told yourself everyday.
fuck, i hate myself. you threw your brush back in the drawer and huffed. honestly, the more you stay with draken, much as you hate to admit it, he keeps driving you mad. what makes you so persevering, anyway? do you even still love him? or is it because... he was the first man to ever make you feel what it is to love another? is that what keeps you going? were you afraid to let go of that feeling? but this isn't fair! this isn't fair! why is it that he's the only one who has this effect on me?! what about me?! do i affect him at all? why, why do i keep doing this despite knowing the answer...
you lowered your head and hid them behind your hands. your shoulders were shaking and you wanted comfort. however, you can't go to anyone. diana would do anything to separate you from draken and seeing you cry might just be her last straw. you can't even go to your mom because you were ashamed of yourself. she was a strong, independent woman who raised you on her own the moment your father abandoned her upon knowing she was pregnant. if she knew you were going crazy because of a man like draken, she would surely not hesitate to keep you inside if she finds out you keep going out to meet him.
no, no, i wanted this. i knew this was coming so it's too late to act all emotional now. the only thing i can do is... be patient.
i've held my own for months now, it's enough proof to say i'm strong. you reminded yourself.
no effort will be thrown out the window because of one incident.
really, love can make anyone do anything.
in your case, you were doing too much and getting absolutely nothing in return.
"y/n?!" draken jumped in surprise upon seeing your face the moment he opened the door. "i- what are you doing here?!"
"hello to you, too!" you greeted him cheerfully. "didn't you say i can come here whenever i want? you definitely said so! otherwise, i wouldn't be standing here!"
"yeah, but," he scratched his head. "not even a heads up?"
"sorry, are you busy? i can come another time-" you were ready to leave but he suddenly held your arm to keep you in place. you looked back at him, eyes widening in surprise. "draken...?"
"stay.." he whispered.
"come again?"
"i said," he cleared his throat, dropping your arm in favor of opening the door for you. a clear welcome - an invitation for you to come in. your heart doubled in beat at the simple gesture. "you can stay."
