She's the One

십팔 (Flashbacks Chapter 8)

(alr forgive me for making y'all wait for so long ,but this chapter is long asf cause i stayed up till 4 last night & finished it off. grab some tissues with ya people ,cause this chap will be a total pain in the ass. now enjoy. ×_×)

          "P-Please stay" Chaeyoung said as she stopped gripping me from my waist. "I-I really didn't mean a-any of this and i d-don't want you to leave." she continued while I process what she just said. She let go of me fully and we were now both standing on our legs, face to face. Her face was sticked to the ground and i can tell,she was embarrass of herself. As she should be. No tears left my eyes as my hand slowly made its way to my suitcase ,which sat at the edge of my bed. Without Chaeyoung noticing,i slowly grabbed the handle and hold it tightly. "Stay Jisoo. Please stay. For me.." she said,voice going soft at the last words. My reaction didn't change,icy cold and hard as a rock. My heart was shattered into millions of pieces and even if someone trys to put them back together, it will never work. She was the reason of all causes, and i will not forgive her. "For you?" i asked as i tilted my head to the side and let out a mischievous chuckle. She looked at me and stared. "Are you kidding me right now?" i said and frowned with so much disbeliefs.
She cheated on me for four fucking months and now she's telling me to stay? I have to stay for her? That will never happen.
"You're such a monster Park Chaeyoung" i scoffed out loud. "But i-"    "No,I will not stay. I will fucking leave. And I do not care whatever the fuck you say to me." i cut her off by shouting in her uglyass face with so much anger and..sadness. She flinched a little and stared at me once again ,like a robot. "Jisoo pleas-"     "I don't fucking care!" i said and pulled my suitcase off of my bed. My suitcase hitting the wooden stool beneath my bed,made her step back due to the loud noise. "Fuck you Park Chaeyoung." i said not caring about anything anymore. She widen her eyes at my sudden burst of anger. "Please..Jisoo. Let's stop this right here. And..go back to how we were before..."  she said, almost begging to end this whole situation.  "Bitch, how dare you?! You have the audacity to say that to me after what you did?!"  i said, rising my voice at her. "Jisoo. I...I promise this won't ever happen again. Let's go back to how we used to be? We can even go on dates in the future if you want.." I almost wanted to just let go of everything and go back to our once happy relationship,but No..that will never happen. I looked at her ,this time my eyes going a bit softer than before. She looked at me back with such pleading eyes. She then moved closer to me, and time to time she was getting closer and closer.

After a couple of minutes ,she was standing right in front of my face. Our bodies were touching each other as it got heated between us. The tension became so hot that even a blast of a strong wind can't destroy it. Chaeyoung brought her face down close to mine as she stared the soul into me. "I know you still have feelings for me Jisoo." she said with a smile. Our faces were inches apart, even a small movement can close the distance in between.  "No i-"  I didn't even have the chance to form my words out. Chaeyoung closed the tiny inch that was stopping our lips to collide with each other. She instantly starts to kiss me, and I didn't want to kiss her back but i just couldn't resist it. The kiss was full of so much passion and lust. It was a kiss which was different from the other ones we've shared together. I dropped my suitcase, as our tongues fight for domination. I placed both of my hands on her nape as i moved in sync with her.Chaeyoung on the otherhand placed her right hand on my head and her other hand on my waist. I shut my eyes close as butterflies starts to form in my stomach. It felt so damn good to have her soft plump lips on mine. But then i remember that..she cheated on me. The thought alone of Chaeyoung with another person made my heaet ache. And it hit me hard as a rock that it was a friend of mine who i truly respected, it was Lisa out of everyone. We can't go back to how we were before this whole thing..and even if we did, it won't last long... I pushed Chaeyoung off of me and quickly fixed my clothes. "I...I can't" i said as i stared at the ground. I felt a pair of eyes on me but i didn't dare to move one bit. "Jisoo.." "It's true. I still lik- no..i still love you, but this relationship...i don't think it will work out anymore.." i quietly said, hoping that she heard me. But when i didn't hear anything back, I looked up, to see Chaeyoung..smiling. "But can we still be... friends?" she said and stared at my eyes. Friends? How can one be just friends with a person they love? If i was friends with the love of my life, i wouldn't be able to control myself. I didn't reply back. More like i couldn't. I just zoned out... Thousands of thoughts came across my mind, but i still didn't know what to say.
Lovers won't work out.
Friends won't work out as well.
But..Strangers?
Strangers might work out.
Of course i couldn't live without her but..what other choices do i have? It's the best to cut things of here... I have to let her go and live my own life. It'll be the best for both of us.

"Jisoo..are you okay?" Chaeyoung's voice echoed through my head as i got control back of my soul and mind. I blinked twice and saw her standing in front of me, gently holding my shoulders. "No I'm not okay." i said out loud. "You wanna know why?" i paused for a while. "Because i just found out that the person i love the most in this whole entire damn world has been cheating on me with my friend, and for four fucking months!" i shouted and pushed her hands off my shoulders. "I already said i'm sorry! What more do you want?!" this time,i was surprised to see Chaeyoung shouting at me in full rage. "Do you think sorry will fix everything?!" i shouted back and pulled my suitcase from the floor.
"Fuck you.. Fuck Lisa.. FUCK EVERYONE! FUCK YOU ALL!" i released a scream and ran out of my bedroom, going straight to the door. And I didn't give one fuck about rather she was okay or not. Overall, i didn't need to give a shit. I will never come back to this place..I hate this house. Every single thing about this household.. I hate everyone. I hate everything about Paris. I hate LaLisa. I hate Park Chaeyoung. And I hate my life...

          My phone rang for the nth time but I didn't budge to even check it. I quickly made my way inside a taxi , feeling nothing and nothing at all. I put my suitcase down and let myself sink down on the seat of the car. I was lost in my own thoughts until the driver asked where i was going. Where could i possibly go? I thought for a minute and realized that there was no other place where i could stay,other than this nasty house. But surely,i wasn't going back to where i was 30 minutes ago. I do not want to waste 1 second back at that place and i don't ever want to see her face again. So..i decided that i was going to leave Paris. Living here is like.. living in hell. I would rather go live in a different state than be stuck in the middle of Paris. I didn't want to stay here and i know it very well. After telling the driver my destination, I once again zoned out. Every memories i shared with her started to flash in my head. No..i hate her. But at the bottom of my heart, i knew that a part of me still loved & admired every single pieces of that girl. At this point,i was tying my best to convince myself that she no longer exist in my life.
It's all you now Kim Jisoo.
It's you & only you.
But what about my family? A thought came inside my mind but i shook it off. It's not like they can't live without me. And right now, I do not care anymore. After all ,this was my final decision. To leave Paris and never return.
There's no turning back now.
My legs were numb. My body was dead. My mind was absolutely empty.

And...

My heart was broken.