Being Female SAMCRO

Chapter 7

Anna POV

Weeks have passed and each day seemed to get harder and harder on my emotions and mental health. Technically, you could say my nights have been a living hell. Nightmares tore through my dreams and woke me up, every chance I reached closer to real sleep. The same faceless person haunted my nights.

I woke up screaming. Pain soared through my body and I found myself in the bathroom, on the floor. Everything was confusing, nothing made sense, except from the fact that this was becoming normal...My hands were shaking, holding the revolver my dad gave me. It was pointing at the doorway, Jax standing there with his hands held up in defense.

"Babe, put it down. It's me." He screamed, startling me, I jumped in shock. Everything with us was so new that I couldn't help but have little trust in anything. I struggled to put it down as my hands trembled in fear.

"Put it down!" He said as my finger feathered the trigger harder. My heart sank and I started hyperventilating while dropping the gun on the floor in front of my feet.

My arms cramped up in front of me as Jax ran to envelop me in his arms. Rubbing my back, trying to calm me down as my brain started to do the same as my breathing.

I couldn't figure out what happened, I wasn't sexually assaulted and I knew that. But something in me couldn't ask why they were lying to me. I felt trapped and even more afraid than when I was before. I honestly felt if I asked, it would be all part of some big plan they were setting up.

But my head couldn't figure out if I was actually convincing myself that it didn't happen. I didn't know what the truth was and that was freaking me out. I got the strength to push him off of me and start breathing normally even though my anger was escalating fast.

"What's wrong?" He screamed at me as I stormed down the hallway of this house he bought us.

That's what didn't make sense. What happened where I needed to move in with him and start this relationship so soon? Something felt wrong.

I grabbed my bike keys and gripped them so tight my palms began to burn. Jax was yelling things at me but I couldn't comprehend what any of it was, in this mental state.

I opened the front door, and saw bikes parked all across the street, but no one was around.

"Where are you going?" Jax yelled as I was already on my bike and starting it.

I shrugged at him, not knowing what to say in this moment and tried to pull away. My legs gave out, something started spazzing inside me and I fell, with my bike.

****
Everything was black. I didn't know if I was knocked the fuck out or finally asleep, dreaming. Whatever I was, it was helping.

The thing was, I could move and open my eyes but I couldn't see or hear anything. The ground felt different, burning almost. It took me a while to realize I was barefoot and standing in water.

"Hello?" I called out, suddenly recognizing a faint sound in the distance.

I walked toward where I thought the sound was coming from, but couldn't pin point it. I felt like I was walking in mud, it was getting harder and harder to walk.

Flashes of the person who attacked me kept coming into vision as if though I were now in a tunnel. I knew I wasn't and was having a nightmare now.

I fought and fought to get out of it but nothing changed. The flashes came quicker and longer each time they came. The persons face started coming into view but it was blurry. This person I kept dreaming about now was real. I knew who it was but I couldn't say anything about it. If I did...

Everything turned white and I found myself being engulfed in thicker mud and water were surrounding me. I could see everything now. It didn't make any sense to me, and I couldn't understand any of it. The most plausible action for me to take would to surrender.

I gave in. I dropped to my knees and I found myself drowning in the water. Water went down my throat and into my stomach, my lungs and soul. I physically felt why this all happened and I couldn't feel myself staying with Jax any longer. I felt no feelings towards him anymore romantically and I knew I needed to start stopping things on my own.

(An: long time coming I'm so very sorry. Everything will make sense as I start to work on  this story again. Big things are coming and I promise you will be very shocked.)