Stirring Up The Town [T. Shelby || Peaky Blinders || Shelby's Girl Book 1]

- 9 -

The next morning, Astella was awake and starting to get dressed as Tommy was starting to wake up. He sat up and Astella looked at him, "Morning," She said and looked away and she pulled up her stockings.

"Morning," Tommy said and picked up a note that said I will do my duty, sir.

"Danny was gone when I woke up," Astella put on her garter belt, clipping it to her stockings as Tommy downed a glass of whiskey then he sighed and looked towards the wall, she looked at the wall, "I doubt it would help... Want to change rooms?" Astella said as she pulled up her dress.

Tommy lowered his head and put it in his hands, covering his eyes as he started to cry, "Oh, Tommy," Astella rushed over to him and straddled his lap as she hugged him and he returned the hug, crying into her, "I'm here, we're here," Astella said.

"This is why..." Tommy looked at her and she cupped his face, "This is fucking why I'd make a terrible dad," Tommy said.

"Enough about that, now, Tommy," Astella wiped away his tears, "No need to think about that, we don't need to so we won't," Astella said.

"I'm fucked in the head, Stell," Astella looked at him, "Not like Danny, not like Arthur but I'm fucked in the head just like them," Astella brushed her fingers along the shaven ends of his hair, "I don't expect you to understand, you weren't there, so fucking glad you weren't," Tommy said.

"Then talk to me... Help me understand what you need Tommy," He looked away from her, "I won't walk on eggshells around you, that's not me and that's not you either, I'll walk on your damn landmine if I have to," He scoffed and looked back at her as she shuffled a little closer to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and she looked him in the eyes, "I'm not afraid to die for you, Tommy. I'm not afraid to fight you. I'm not afraid to fight for you, either. I'm afraid of something though..." He hummed, "I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up and you won't be there... And not I'm meaning in my bed when I wake up... I mean... Gone," He leaned back a little but intertwined his fingers together as his hands rested on her lower back, "But I know, this life we're both leading right now, has that risk... Why do you think I'm around you so much? I'm not allowing myself to lose you, not until I'm ready and I don't give a fuck if you're ready for me to go, I'm not ready," Astella said.

"I don't want you to go," Tommy said.

"Then I won't. Glad we're on the same page, soldier... Tell me something, what were you in the war? You've never told me," Astella said.

"Sergeant Major... Thought you heard I told you," Tommy said.

"Probably did, but your hands on my back are distracting me," Astella smiled, "Explains a lot now," She kissed his cheek then got off his lap and turned her back to him, moving her hair out of the way, "Be a dear and button me up," Astella said.

Tommy exhaled heavily and stood up before walking over to her then started to button her up, "I don't need another room... I need another bed," She hummed, "If you're staying with me every night, we need a bigger bed," She turned to him, "I'll get some of the boys to move yours into here and we'll work it out," Tommy said.