Red (Helmut Zemo's Version)

Chapter Nine: The Kiss

A single shot fires, sending Nagel flying backwards and blood once more spattering across my shirt. As soon as I come to my senses, I begin to look up to see if this had once more been the work of a sniper, until I see a gun in Zemo's hand that had not previously been there and watch as Sam holds him against the wall, Sharon attempting to disarm him. Before any of us can fully react, the lab explodes, fire tearing through the space and sending me hurtling against the wall. My head collides with metal and all fades to black.

I can feel two hands lifting me and carrying me but I can't open my eyes or speak until I am laid back down in cold air, hands cradling my face and wiping away soot from my eyes and cheeks. "Listen to me, my dear. I need you to stay here while I help the others. Just keep breathing for me" he kisses my face and I'm able to open my eyes slightly to look up at him, the sun far too bright. Once he leaves, I begin coughing out any smoke on my lungs and allow myself a moment to recover before I slowly stand, reaching for the gun I'd had in my pocket and coming to the horrifying realisation that it's missing. My favourite gun, as well. I groan and grab my dagger instead, taking a few breaths to ensure I'm not winded before dropping down to a shipping container beneath the one I'd been laid on and then onto the floor, landing on a bounty hunter and piercing my dagger through his back. I begin to fight my way through the armed men from behind, avoiding gunfire at each turn and hiding behind container doors. I follow the sounds of Sam and Bucky arguing, taking out gunmen while Sharon covers me from ahead. I notice Zemo up on the higher containers pulling on his mask and can't help being distracted by the sight of it. Bucky runs to me, grabbing onto me and pulling me out of the way of a woman I hadn't noticed behind me. Sharon, Sam, Bucky and I run in one direction as Zemo shoots at the gas pipes the bounty hunters were surrounding, the chemicals combining and burning up into the second explosion of the day. Unable to see where he is due to smoke, I pray he's gotten out the fire's way while Bucky continues pulling me along through the maze, shoving me and the others into a container whilst he fends off multiple other men, each holding assault rifles and various other deadly weapons.

We wait in the darkness for a few moments before Bucky joins us inside the container, quickly rushing to my side to check me over. "Are you okay, y/n?" he asks, feeling for blood anywhere on me. "Yes, I'm fine. The blood isn't mine. You can stop now" I say, trying to shove him off but, in his frantic state, he ignores it. "Bucky!" He quickly stops and looks up at my face though he cannot see it in this light, "I'm okay, I promise" I say softly, pulling him into a comforting embrace, our lips meeting and shockwaves racing between us. An engine approaches outside and I pull away, backing away from him and towards the door of the container in shock. As the sound gets closer, the four of us gingerly look out, only to see Zemo drive towards us in a steel blue convertible, waving and smiling proudly as he parks up. I climb into the back to sit behind him and hug him from behind "Thank god you're okay." I kiss the back of his neck "I love you so much". I say but the words feel like acid on my tongue. He laughs gently "I'm much better now that you're here, baby girl. I did tell you to stay put though but we can talk about that later. I love you too" Bucky gets in the front beside Zemo, turning to look at us and watching for a few moments before turning away, staring at the shipping containers beside him while once more arguing with Sam.

I keep my mouth shut for the rest of the journey to Latvia, only ever replying with the same responsive grunts I would get from Zemo all those years ago. Each time Bucky looks at me I can't trust myself to speak and each time Zemo looks at me it's so much worse. I've never been more thankful for the pitch black darkness inside those shipping containers because it means that at least Sharon and Sam couldn't actually see what we did, even if they managed to infer it.

Once we arrive in the city of Riga, Bucky seems to notice something that puts him on edge and makes some bullshit excuse before running off somewhere, leaving us to settle in on our own. Zemo takes my hand, leading me to a beautiful seating area as Sam feigns vomiting behind us, causing me to trip him up as he reaches the top of the steps. Zemo sits me on the couch before kneeling in front of me, running his hands up and down my arms and legs to check for any debris or shrapnel that had potentially gotten caught in my skin and clothing. He glances over at the bathroom and sighs softly "Come on, my dear. There's a beautiful quartz bathtub in the Master ensuite. Let's get you cleaned up." He keeps hold of my hand and carefully guides me there, leading me to sit on the edge as he runs a bath for me. "Right, sweetheart. Lavender or rose scented?" He asks, patting the back of my hand gently. I quietly reply "Lavender" and stare straight at the floor. God I'm such a fucking awful person. "Do you need help getting out of those dirty clothes?" he asks, kissing the hand he'd previously been patting. I nod hesitantly and brave peeking up at him momentarily. He strokes my hair and responds "Okay honey, well just give me a moment to get you some nice, clean clothes to change into" He says before leaving the room. I just want to scream. God I'm fucking evil. So fucking evil. I barely even notice the tears running down my face until Zemo re-enters the room, quickly crouching in front of me to gently wipe away the salty liquid from my cheeks. "Hey, shh. Shhh. Come here" He pulls me against his chest and I bury my face in his shoulder, selfishly seeking comfort in his arms. "What's wrong, my angel? My beautiful girl, what is making you so down?" He asks, allowing me to cling to him silently. He sighs and pats the back of my head. "Okay, okay. Do you want to talk about it after your bath?" I nod and he nods back against me. He removes my arms from around him despite my objections and slowly begins to remove my soot-coated and blood-soaked clothing, placing it in a crumpled pile by the sink before helping me into the warm water. I groan softly in relief at how the water feels against my dirty skin and he smiles. "Does that feel nice, honey?" I nod, pulling my knees to my chest as he rolls up his sleeves and grabs a loofa. "If you need me to stop touching you, pat the edge of the bath twice? Okay, my dear. Don't even have to say anything" I nod once more and he takes that as a cue to start.

He soaks the loofa in the soapy water before running it up my legs, paying special attention to the areas where my leggings had been singed in the explosions. He rubs from my feet to my hips with the loofa, not once making any attempts to turn this sexual which just makes me hate myself that much more because he's just too nice and so fucking respectful and I took that and threw it in his face. And now, here he is literally bathing me and being so patient just because he thinks I'm in shock. Which I guess I sort of am. He begins to clean my stomach and back, rubbing and massaging my shoulders when he reaches them, leaving me moaning softly in a comfortable release of all of my bodily tension. He then pours a cup of water on my hair, tipping my head back to avoid it going in my eyes before he begins to massage shampoo into my hair, rubbing it into my scalp with well-practiced fingers before rinsing it for me and then repeating with conditioner. "Right, sweetheart. It's going to be a bit slippery so try to stand up for me." He places his hands under my shoulders, helping me to slowly get to my feet before carefully helping me step to the safety of the bath towel. "Do you want me to dry you off and help you into the clothes I got you?" he asks and I nod for the millionth time. Without even the slightest of objections or irritation he finds the fluffiest towel and begins to dry my body, once more not making it all sexual as the cotton brushes against my skin. After this, he helps me step into a pair of clean, presumably his own, boxers and a t-shirt I can also only assume is also his own.

As if timed perfectly, as Zemo guides me back into the main area, Bucky enters the room, positively reeling and looking about ready to rip off any of our heads. "Well the Wakandans are here. They want Zemo. Bought us some more time" he says as he walks directly past me. The three, as usual, begin to bicker and I start to walk away, tired and sick of the constant fighting. I fail to notice Bucky following me until I'm already in the bedroom and about to shut the door behind me. He holds out his metal arm so that I am unable to shut it and steps inside, shutting the door behind himself. I sigh and sit on the bed, laying back and staring at the ceiling. "Helmut knows." I say as he appears standing over me. "What? That we kissed?" He asks, his eyebrows raised in concern. "No, I'm not that fucking stupid. He knows you're in love with me" I sit up, looking him dead in the eyes "And he's probably not going to be impressed if he knows you've locked yourself in a room with me by yourself" He looks me up and down "Do you actually love him?" he asks. "That's a loaded question but yes. I do. I have for a while now. But now I'm all confused because I have certain strong feelings for you as well" I groan rubbing my face roughly. His eyes perk up slightly at that "You do?" I nod and stand, going to leave but being pulled back by my wrist and forced to stand inches from him, his eyes staring into mine, piercing and blue. "Do you love me?" he asks and I falter with my response before whispering "Yes." and with that he kisses me again, placing his hands on my waist and taking my lip between his teeth. "I want you so bad, doll. And I don't think I can share."

I pull away after a few minutes "Zemo's going to get suspicious. We need to get back to them. He'll probably be done in the bathroom by now and he'll be worrying about me." He sighs and agrees "I don't like seeing you in another man's clothes" He says with a frown. "You're going to have to deal with it" I laugh and as I turn to leave, he smacks my ass and I squeal, running off quickly whilst he is in hysterics behind me.