Silence [The Hunger Games]

Chapter Forty-Nine

 As we travelled home the next evening, I slept by Eddie’s side for the first time. A room on the train had been appointed for us. As we were a couple, it shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. Eddie wasn’t fazed at all, of course. As soon as we’d entered the room, he’d removed his shirt and slid under the duvet of the four poster double bed. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to get in bed. I quickly changed into a nightdress, sharply pulling it over my head to avoid much exposure of my skin. I knew at some point, I needed to become comfortable with Eddie seeing my body, but I simply wasn’t ready. Still, I allowed Eddie to wrap his arms around me once I was in. He stroked my hair, his fingers tracing my jawline and trailing down my neck to my shoulders.

 “Goodnight, Raven.”

 “Night Eddie,” I stammered. Eddie shuffled closer and fell asleep with his arm draped protectively around me. Trapped in his embrace, I stared at the ceiling for the remainder of the night, not sleeping for even a moment. When I felt Eddie stirring, I slipped out of bed and went to the dining cart.

 Drew was sat alone at the table, absent mindedly eating a croissant. I thought since the Games he’d really improved in terms of his mental state, but the wedding trip to the Capitol hadn’t helped his case. His posture was slumped forward, his hair wild from another night of tossing and turning. He raised his head in greeting when he noticed I was there, but said nothing.

 “How long to go?” I asked, sliding into a chair beside Drew.

 “Another hour or so. Have you told Eddie about Pandora yet?”

 I shook my head “I was going to this morning. But I don’t know what to say. Pretend that I want her to serve us? Or tell him the truth?”

 “Raven, honestly. When you married him, what did you promise him?”

 “That I’d always be honest with him. But-”

 “No buts,” Drew said sternly “This may not be easy for you, but I know that Eddie will support you no matter what. Don’t you understand that this boy would die for you?”

 I swallowed. Of course I knew that. But the knowledge didn’t make me happy in the slightest.

 “Drew, what scares me most is that any bad actions I perform reflect on him. What if I can’t protect him?”

 “You don’t need to protect him. He’s here to protect you.”

  I chewed my lip. I so desperately wanted to tell him my plans for the Victory Tour. But I knew he’d try to stop me. But how could Eddie possibly protect me once my plan was through? It was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

 Luckily, I didn’t have to reply to Drew. Eddie entered the room, yawning and planting a kiss on my cheek.

 “Morning, sweetheart.”

 Drew made a puking motion behind his back, and I hugged Eddie to stop myself laughing. Drew raised an eyebrow at me, warning me to tell Eddie about Pandora. Sighing, I pulled away and forced a cheery smile.

 “I have a bit of a surprise for you…we have someone coming to live with us.”

 It had been arranged by President Snow for us to have a house of our own in the Victor’s Village, and Eddie had made it clear that he wanted independence when we got there, so he wasn’t happy at the thought of anyone living under our roof.

 “Who?” he asked coldly. It was the first time I’d heard him raise his voice at me since coming home from the Games. I frowned.

 “She was my Avox in the Capitol.”

 “Oh, that’s OK. You mean a servant?” Eddie said, cheering up at the prospect of having someone wait on him hand and foot. I flared up.

 “No, she will not be your servant! The poor girl had her tongue cut out-”

 “And why is that? Because she did something wrong!”

 “Don’t you understand anything? She didn’t-”

 “Don’t you dare talk like that to me!”

 “I’ll speak to you any way I please if you speak badly of Pandora again!”

 “What? That scum has a name?”

 Angrily, I stormed out the room and locked myself in the sleeping quarters, tears streaming down my face. How could he be so cruel? I thought he was different than that. His words rung in my head as I thought of the poor lonely Pandora. That scum has a name?

 We pulled into the train station at District 10, but I stayed locked in the room. Drew promised me through the door that he’d get Eddie off the train and that Pandora could stay with him for a night. Slowly, I unlocked the door, dragging my suitcase behind me in misery. Arriving at home, Father tried to talk to me, but I locked myself in my room, opening my suitcase and bundling my crumpled wedding gown into the bottom of my wardrobe. Then I curled on my window sill and cried. Any dreams of happiness seemed to have gone down the drain. Then I heard a soft tapping noise. I snivelled a little more, before I heard it again. Turning my head, I saw Pandora stood at Drew’s window. Her soft features looked so sweet and innocent, her palm pressed against the glass as she stared. I mirrored her, wiping away tears.

 Slowly, she raised her hand to her lips and then pressed it over her heart. I think she meant thank you. My head pressed against the cool glass and together we cried.