Back Flip Boy [ Ethan Nestor ]

34.

I had such a hard time sleeping last night.

I uploaded a thirty minute long unedited video with screenshots that explained everything that happened. And I was absolutely terrified.

Also Mark was pissed off at me for doing that. But it's whatever at this point.

Ethan did his best to stay awake with me but fell asleep around four, his arms draped over me in a protective way as Luna lay curled up at our feet. She stayed awake most of the night too, her head resting on my lap with her little beady eyes staring up at me, making sure I was okay. I most definitely was not okay, but it was the thought that counted. Mark had left around one, promising me he would figure something out. But I didn't want him to figure it out. I was supposed to be able to handle things by myself. I was a big girl with my own house and my own bills but a stupid boy was the reason I was back in a depressive slump? I let out a sigh and grabbed my phone, knowing I wasn't going to be able to sleep. A FaceTime call flashed on the screen from Mika and I slightly smiled, a feeling of caring filling my body as I shimmied myself out of bed. I waited until I was in the living room before I spoke.

"Hey Meeks."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm... alive." I shrugged. "I mean, there's so many worse things he could have done."

"I wish I could be there to help you."

"What's stopping you from flying out?"

Mika chuckled. "My bank account."

"Mm, good point." I gave her a small smile, leaning back against the couch. "I'm just... I told him to stop and to stay away, I told him to leave me alone."

"Boys are stupid."

"I mean you're right, but I threatened legal action and he still did this? I just don't understand."

"When did you tell him that?"

"We met up like a month ago at this point-"

"You did WHAT?"

I turned around to see a groggy Ethan standing in the doorframe, glaring at me. I could have sworn he had steam coming out of his ears.

"Eth-"

"Don't Eth me. You fucking met up with him?"

"To tell him to fuck off!"

"Hey Eth! I'm fine, thanks for asking!"

Ethan and I both glared at the phone. "Not not Mika."

"You should have told me, I would have come with you!"

"To what? Protect me? News fucking flash Ethan, I'm not a baby. I'm an adult woman who can do whatever the fuck she wants. And if I made the executive decision to meet up with Kyle to figure out what the fuck was going on, then that's my own decision. I don't need you holding my hand for every little goddamn thing anymore!"

"I can not believe you went and did that."

"Did what? Stood up for myself like every adult should be able to do?" I raised my eyebrow. "I'm twenty years old, I'm not a baby anymore."

"I never said you were a baby-"

"Well you fucking insuated it, Ethan." the tears started falling again, and I didn't even attempt to wipe them off my face this time.

"You shouldn't have met up with him."

"Or what, wonder for the rest of my life why he fucking broke into my house?"

"Oh, so it's just your house now?"

"It's always been my house! I didn't have to ask you to move in with me. I didn't have to ask you to do anything!"

"Well too bad, Y/N. Because I'm not leaving you anytime soon."

"I don't need you by my side every single minute of every single day." I huffed. "You don't have to watch me twenty four seven."

"You lied to my face!"

"Because I knew you were going to react like this!"

"You knew I was going to react like this?"

"Yes! Because you're protecting me and I fucking hate it! I hate being treated like this!"

"Well maybe I want to protect you!"

"Well maybe I don't need protecting!"

Ethan and I stared at each other, both of us panting. I didn't know how to react to this, if I were being honest. I don't know how long we stood there, but I finally mustered up the courage to say:

"Get the fuck out of my house."

"Y/N-"

"Get out, Ethan. Just... just get out."

I turned away from him and curled up into a ball, barely registering as Ethan slowly made his way back to our bedroom, grabbing a bag and shoving some clothes in it. He didn't even bother telling me where he was going, which at this point I didn't even care. The door shut and I let the sobs overtake my body. I was truly and utterly alone.

And I think I just broke up with my boyfriend.

---

A week had passed since I had last seen Ethan. And I wanted to cry.

A whole seven days of him not texting me, not snapchatting me... nothing. I mean, I had Mika and Maddie and Emma, but I had never gone through a total lack of contact between me and Ethan. Sure, we had gone a day without talking before, but a whole week? I was dying.

I had barely eaten anything and had probably lost at least four days of sleep. I had tweeted out that I was taking a social media break, mainly so I didn't have to see how everyone was reacting to me. I didn't want to even look at my following since I probably had lost at least ten thousand followers. But they'd probably all be the misogynistic assholes so I guess that was a win? Either way, I was not doing hot. And it showed. I had cried practically all the water out of my body and had no tears left to cry at this point, so I would just sit there mopeing while the world went on around me. I had forty unread text messages, most of them from Mark and Séan trying to check up on me, but I didn't want to respond. I didn't have the mental energy to do anything.

My life had taken a turn for the worse, and it was making me feel like an absolute piece of shit. Every single word that Kyle had screamed at me during our fights were at the forefront of my mind, and I couldn't shake them off. I couldn't get those thoughts out of my mind. I needed to talk to Ethan, but he was mad at me. There was no way I could ever come back from this. And I was so upset at myself about it. I had a perfect relationship, and just like that I threw it down the drain because of one small little issue. Well, it wasn't a small issue per se, but that's besides the point. Either way, I had lost my soulmate, and probably my career too. I'm pretty sure I fucked up. No, scratch that, I did fuck up.

And I wasn't sure if I could ever come back from it.