Of all the things

Chapter Four

Whipped

Hailey's

"DAD wants to talk to you..."

I was still enclosed to Mom's embrace when she told me the words that I've been waiting and dreading to hear. Katatapos lang naming mag-dinner, kaaalis lang din ni Theo, kung ako ang tatanungin, gusto kong sumama sa kanya, hindi pa rin kasi ako komportable sa bahay na ito, lalo na at kanina pa ako iniirapan ni Hunter. Alam kong marami siyang gustong sabihin sa akin pero hindi naman siya nagsasalita, he didn't want to cross Dad and ruin his pinakamatinong anak image, so he's just giving me killer glares, hindi ko naman siya pinagpapansin. All I want is for us – Dad and I - to be okay again. Mom and I are fine, I feel like I'm closer to her now.

Back then, I used to feel distant, may mga itinatago kasi ako. I used to be closer to mom before but ever since that secret relationship with Perseus, everything changed. Natatakot akong malaman niya, na magagalit siya sa akin, na kamumuhian niya ako dahil sa choices na ginawa ko, but my mom had always been so forgiving and kind. Kahit na para sa iba, hindi siya ganoon, I see my mom as that and I love her more.

"He's ready?" My voice was small. I was biting my lower lip. Mom and I were lying on my bed, cuddling. I am most comfortable now. I looked up at her. Naiiyak na naman ako but I have to control myself. The dinner earlier was better than I expected. I know that things will eventually be okay, but I didn't think that will be ready to talk to me this early. Mom caressed my face.

"Like I told you, hindi ka matitiis ng Daddy mo. If you're ready, he's waiting for you in his office. I promise that I will be here when you get back." Hindi ako gumalaw. I should've taken that as my leave pero hindi ako gumalaw. Anong sasabihin ko kay Daddy? I know he knows that I feel sorry, that's a given fact, but after the muttered apology, what would happen? What would I say? Would he forgive me that easily?

Knowing my father there is always consequences to these kinds of actions. He raised us making us aware that in every action - good or bad – there is a consequence, and so he always reminds us to be careful. I did that, in the first years of my life. I was always careful. I was always thinking about the right thing to do, but love got the best out of me.

"Hailey..." Mom's voice was able to pull me out of my trance. My heart was beating fast. I really have no idea what would happen inside Dad's office. I know he loves me, that will never change overnight, but I have no idea how angry he is right now. I sighed. I kissed mom's cheek, and climbed down the bed. Alam ko namang malaki iyong possibility na mag-uusap kami ni Daddy ngayon, sabi ko nga kay Theo, tatawagan ko siya pero hindi ko talaga inasahan na mangyayari siya ngayon, it's just a possibility, I am not ready.

I walked through the hallway leading to Dad's office. I was biting my lower lip, so hard that it may bleed. Alam kong kailangan ko siyang harapin, ang lakas – lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. Hindi ako makahinga. I stopped in front of his office. I raised my hand to knock, after three knocks, the door opened, and I am now face to face with my father.

His dark green eyes were looking at me like he's about to yell at me. He never yelled at me before. Hindi nga niya ako pinagagalitan kasi bunso raw ako. He always tell people that I am his favorite. Kaya nga naiinis sa akin si Kuya Heath noon, si Kuya Hunter naman ay palaging sinasabi rin na ako ang favorite niya, but that may have changed now.

"Where's your mother?" Niluwagan ni Daddy ang pinto. He walked towards his chair and sat there. I saw a glass of whiskey beside him. I know why he's drinking. He's uncomfortable. I sighed again.

"In my room..." I clasped my hands together. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin sa sarili ko. Dad just looked at me, and then he sighed. "Daddy, I'm sorry." Naiiyak na naman ako. Hindi ko kayang galit sa akin si Daddy. Nagsisisi naman talaga ako. Pinipigilan ko ang mga luha ko. Dad taught me that my tears won't take me anywhere, that I have to always be ready to face the fruits of my actions.