For Edd, I Will (KevEdd)

Kissing You is My New Favorite Thing

Edd, of course, couldn't sleep. He lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling with his hands clasped over his chest. He played every moment of the day over in his head, hardly daring to believe that it had happened - that Kevin liked him back. Edd was sure his arms were black and blue from pinching himself repeatedly since he got back to his house.

Those pinches hurt. That, with the addition of the texts on the phone from Eddy and a sweet little one from Kevin a few minutes ago that said, "Thinking of you... Can't wait for tomorrow!", were all proof that it wasn't a dream.

His excitement and happiness far outweighed his anxieties, though a few anxious thoughts crept into his brain. His mind was still adjusting to the fact that he liked boys, and it wasn't an easy thing to come to terms with, though it felt right to him. Liking Kevin made him happy, but Edd couldn't fool himself and think that this would be easy. He was, however, glad that he expressed his worries to Kevin, even though their conversation about it had been short. Edd may not have had experience with relationships, but he deemed it necessary to be open and honest with Kevin right from the start.

Edd wasn't sure why he was so anxious about whether or not the other kids at school found out. He usually didn't care what anyone thought of him. Edd ignored the name-calling, which thankfully hadn't happened very often in the last few years. Edd was a sort of non-entity at the school - rarely noticed by anyone, especially the popular cliques. He went through his day quietly without making waves. He participated in after-school activities that interested him, namely yearbook, and had few acquaintances other than the Eds. Mostly he kept to himself.

Edd knew there were other 'out' kids at the school, and he also knew that most students accepted them for the most part. A few narrow-minded fellow students attempted harassment, but that was cut down immediately by the school administration and the other students. Peach Creek prided itself on being a progressive and accepting school.

So, Edd lay there, curious as to where his anxiety developed. He had told Kevin that he was worried about the gap in their social standings. Edd thought bitterly that, yes, should it become known that Edd was gay, he was sure no one would either care or be surprised. But Kevin Barr? The most popular guy at the school? The top jock? Edd could imagine the shock that would cause.

Not only that, however. Kevin falling for a giant nerd in the school? Impossible. If Edd could hardly believe it, it would stand to reason that no one else would believe it. If Kevin were gay, why wouldn't he go for the best-looking boy in the school? Or, at least, someone utterly opposite of Edd? Edd had no illusions about himself. He knew he still looked the same as he did at fifteen when his growth spurt stopped, leaving him almost half a foot shorter than Kevin. He was still awkward and tended to trip over his feet with little grace. He had never worn braces; he still had the gap in his front teeth. His cheeks still held the baby fat that never seemed to go away, though the rest of his body was too skinny. What on earth did Kevin see in him?

He figured his anxieties stemmed from that and the social gap. Jocks didn't mess around with nerds - there were strict guidelines in high school. One didn't venture out of one social grouping. Nerds definitely shouldn't aspire to reach as high as the most popular kids. Kevin had a reputation at the school. Edd was truthful when he told Kevin that it would damage that reputation if they were together, and Edd surely didn't want Kevin to lose social status.

Kevin also had never been on the receiving end of bullying. Edd had, and Edd knew how awful and degrading it could be. He did not want Kevin to experience that. Edd's heart hurt from the mere thought of Kevin being a victim.

Edd realized he was frowning, and he sighed. Kevin had agreed with him about keeping it quiet, so Edd shouldn't worry so much. He pushed aside the thought of his parents for the moment. Edd would deal with that much later. They would not be back home until late spring, so he had time to worry about it. Kevin was the one who had parents to hide it from, and Edd wondered how they would do that.