Dear Lover

71

Gmail

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what we missed • inbox
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Rinaih Ynares
to: elailyevarys@gmail.com

to elai:

how are you, elai? i hope you're holding up just fine! anyway, i don't have the courage to talk to you in person so i'll just tell you here hehe.

sky messaged me first noong birthday ko. i did not tell him abt it. but he knew, something you supposed to know. you ditched me, something he never did. sa mga oras na 'yon, why did i not realize sooner that you're slowly tearing me? did i do something bigger aside from talking to sky? before i forgot, i asked your permission. i asked you and you said it was fine, so i stilltried to limit myself from being too attached with his messages and pangungulit kahit na sinabi mong okay lang. but he's too soft and pure, and hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong kumawala sa mga taling hawak mo sa leeg ko.

i was so hurt. sana alam mo 'yun. i hope we shared these knotted achings and we'll unknot it together until we're free in each other's hold.

you're my sister by heart, elai. kaya sobrang sakit nang matanggap ko ang mga salitang yun mula sa'yo. all i did was to treasure you deeply pero bakit naman gano'n? parang pinagtanto mo sa'kin lahat kung may pagkukulang ba ako bilang anak at kaibigan. and dami na nating napagsamahan sa loob ng limang taon. siguro iisipin nila na sayang ang limang taon pero hindi. may panghihinayang, oo, pero kapag nasayangan ako sa mga taong 'yun ibig nasasayangan din ako na ginugol ko ang lima kong taon sa'yo. hindi sayang, kasi i could still reminisce those memories.

hindi ako galit. sadyang nilalabas ko lang ang mga hinanakit ko ngayon kaysa pagtaniman kita ng sama ng loob. im sorry for everything.

perhaps, we missed something in our friendship. we both grow in the same garden yet we are rooted from a different soil where how hard we try to reach for each other smallest stem, our bond still loosened.

i won't be asking for you permission but i like sky already. and i'll let myself feel the warmest sky that orbits in my heart. therefore, this ends here.

thank you for the friendship, bae. kahit hindi ka magsorry papatawarin pa rin kita. laview still ! <3

— naya.