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The day of your departure to meet up with the band arrived faster than you'd expected

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The day of your departure to meet up with the band arrived faster than you'd expected. Despite the fact that you'd been buzzing around for weeks on end getting everything in order, it still felt as if the day had crept up on you out of the blue. That wasn't to say that you weren't prepared, or that you were running around like a chicken with its head cut off, but you were panicking if only slightly.

This time, the panic was not due to your own idiocy or any sense of urgency. Merely, the reality of it all seemed to finally be worming its way into your head. Before that day, it almost seemed like a dream. It was something that was too good to be true, and only now was it starting to sink in that it was happening. You were going on the road with one of your favorite bands, and living your dream.

You were just trying to keep the anxiety under wraps, at least for Kyle's sake. While he'd been fairly confident in you, encouraging you and supporting you throughout the days after the call, it was like things were only just starting to click for him too. Each day that had passed had seen him grow a little more anxious, a little more unsure, and now that the morning of your flight had arrived he was outright panicking.

It was more than a little strange having to be the sensible, calm party in the relationship for once. Usually, it was Kyle who had to constantly reassure you and keep you from going off the rails entirely, but today your attention had to abandon your own anxieties to keep him under control. You were pretty sure he was one misstep away from having a total breakdown, and a part of you was wondering if this was how he always felt just beneath his cool exterior.

Had he always been so anxious and neurotic? You didn't think so, but perhaps he'd just learned to hide it better than you ever had. Either way, you were getting a very solid lesson in controlling your nerves that day.

Kyle was meant to drop you off at the airport, and yet you were the one to drive there because his hands were shaking so forcefully you didn't exactly trust him to keep control over a vehicle. He was a mess of apologies and embarrassment, but you just smiled and told him it was endearing that he was so worried about you. It was, in a way, endearing.

It was endearing because you knew his worries, and fears, and anxieties were not due to his uncertainty in you. He didn't feel those things because he doubted you, or thought that there was even a chance that things would go wrong for you. Rather, he was simply anxious to be away from you. He was sad to see you go, and know that you'd be gone for so long, and a part of you felt all of those things, too.

You were sad that you'd be away from him for months. You were sad that while you were out traveling the country, and possibly even the world, he would still be in that little apartment just waiting for you to get back. Some part of you wished that he could have come along, to share in the experience with you, but you knew it wasn't an option.

Plus, you weren't entirely sure he'd have enjoyed it anyways. There were many things that you and Kyle connected and bonded over. You both loved daytime television, shitty rom-coms, and a good glass of wine. You both loved warm cuddles on a lazy morning, the smell in the air just before it rained, and staying in on a good night to go out.

blue hour | sam kiszkaWhere stories live. Discover now