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If you had thought that avoiding Sam or being avoided by him was bad

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If you had thought that avoiding Sam or being avoided by him was bad... it was nothing compared to the two weeks of torture that followed after your decision to end things with him.

He didn't make a point to leave the room whenever you entered it, nor did he work diligently to avoid your gaze, or your touch, or your words. In fact, it seemed that Sam was more present and available to you than he'd ever been before--but it was different. Gone were the days of secret smiles and flirty touches.

You couldn't even say that things had gone back to the way they had been before the two of you had ever crossed any sort of line because they hadn't. It wasn't like that either, and it was driving you a little insane if you were honest. Because, before the kiss, Sam had been your closest friend on the tour just like Pidgeon.

Before, he'd always greet you with a warmth that drew you in like a moth to a flame. He treated you like he'd known you for a lifetime, and fully intended to keep you in it for the rest of his days. He'd always treated you like you were special, but that was all over now.

Looking back on it, you could understand that it had probably all been due to his not-so-hidden desires. Looking back on it, he'd never really tried to hide the fact that he wanted you in a way that was entirely not friendly. You just wished you could have seen the signs for what they were in the beginning, because now that he was treating you like you were just anybody... it hurt.

It hurt a lot that whenever you sat beside him or stood just a little closer than two friends should, he didn't reach out to pull you even closer anymore. Sam didn't touch you at all if he could help it, and he certainly didn't move to encroach on your space like he'd always done before. Ever since you'd called it quits, you were pretty sure he was pointedly stepping away from you every chance he could.

Somehow, the distance was only making you want him more.

You'd never really understood the common saying about distance making the heart grow fonder, and honestly, over those past two weeks, you had only come to be even more puzzled by it. On one hand, you wholeheartedly agreed. But, on the other, you felt as if the distance was only serving to drive you further and further away.

It all just depended on who you were thinking of. With Sam, the emotional divide that you'd opened up between the two of you was slowly driving you mad with longing and desire. He consumed your thoughts, your dreams, and all of your heart without even knowing it.

With Kyle? Well, it was safe to say that joining the tour had certainly nailed shut the coffin that now contained your relationship. Not that he was aware, of course.

You found it funny, in a bitter sort of way, that your decision to push Sam away before you grew attached to him only seemed to be the string that tied you to him. You'd ended things in a desperate attempt to keep them from spiraling further out of control, convincing yourself that you could somehow leave things where they were and never turn back. But, ending them had somehow shattered the last of your morality that you'd been holding onto.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Feb 28, 2022 ⏰

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