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Going to bed just before sunrise was something you were pretty sure that you'd never get used to

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Going to bed just before sunrise was something you were pretty sure that you'd never get used to. The exhaustion of being up all night, sleeping in short bursts that were more akin to power naps than a good rest, and constantly being on the move was getting to you. Truly, you were absolutely aching for a good night's sleep–but things just always seemed to get in the way.

The past week of the tour you'd spent avoiding going out, returning to your hotel room early in an attempt to get some sleep. At least, that's what you told everyone. Really, you just were avoiding another situation like the one you'd found yourself in the last time you'd gotten drunk.

Usually, you could write Sam's flirty behavior off as just being a character trait. Usually, you could ignore it under the (perhaps naive) belief that he was just a flirty guy in general. But when he'd all but curled into your lap that night, calling you pretty and admitting that he'd been hoping that you'd get the job just so that he could get to know you... it was hard to write that off as innocent.

You really hadn't been getting much sleep at all, regardless of how many nights you returned to your hotel room immediately after you were released from your duties at whatever venue you were in for the night. Often you found yourself tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep due to your body's clock adjusting to account for the many days you slept in until noon after being on the road all night. If you hadn't slept in late, then it was your mind keeping you from getting the rest you so desperately craved.

There were a million and one things occupying your head lately. From Kyle and your relationship, to Sam and the weird sort of tension you couldn't figure out that lingered between the two of you, and all the way to thoughts of your job–there was so much inside your head battling to occupy your every thought that you felt like you were going to explode. Even your dreams weren't safe, your subconscious riddling you with nightmares that woke you up in a breathless fit of panic.

Most often you spent your nights editing photos. Two cities prior you'd gone out to a gas station in the middle of the night in the hopes of finding melatonin, and you'd ended up returning to your hotel room with a sack full of energy drinks, a journal, and a pack of cheap pens. Surprisingly, it did help you at least a little to write down the jumbled mess of thoughts in your head on paper.

It was strange how you'd come to appreciate the nights spent on the road the most, recently. Your sudden insomnia was easier to cover up when you were crammed into a van with Pidge, Adam, Magpie, and two other crew members who you'd figured out were called Grub and Wasp. Grub and Wasp didn't talk much, at least not to you, but it didn't matter much because you pretty much only ever saw them in the van.

Hiding the fact that you were suddenly incapable of sleeping was a hell of a lot easier when nobody was getting any sleep. Of course, hitting the road overnight hosted its own sorts of problems. Problems like only having a scarce few hours to get any sleep at all, and even less when you factored in your routine of calling Kyle before he went to work.

blue hour | sam kiszkaWhere stories live. Discover now