Bleeding Sunset

Chapter 7

I should have known better. 

It had all started out so well, the date, the conversation and even when he pushed past one of my boundaries, I couldn’t say no. Maybe it was the wine doing the talking, but I enjoyed what he had been doing…at the beginning. Until he brought me back to his bedroom and that’s when things escalated, without my consent. 

“Please,” I pleaded in a strained voice as my body lay beneath his, no longer enjoying the painfully pleasure filled demonstrations that he was doing on my body now that his member was lined at my virgin entrance. 

I wasn’t ready. I wanted to wait until marriage, or at least until I met the right guy. I hadn’t decided yet. My virginity was important to me, because I knew that the person that I chose to share my “innocence” with should be someone who is as pure as me. “It’s important to share your energy with someone who won’t drain it. You don’t want your soul being attached to the wrong kind of guy.” My mother would always say and I guess it was very rich of her considering the promiscuous life she always lived. However, she always told me to be better than her, that I shouldn’t just let any Tom, Dick and Harry in between my legs, that I had to be careful because boys nowadays are no good, and have never been good. 

Instead of listening to my plea, Agostino placed a delicate kiss on my collarbone, his hands that gripped my wrists and held me down made sure that I couldn’t fight as he buried his member in between my virgin walls and I could feel them stretch. I cried out, trying to fight against him and his intrusive size that made me feel full, and even though he had made sure that he played with every bit of my body to make me wet it still hurt because I was fighting him. “loosen up for me, Autumn dove,” he recited in my ear in that sultry voice that I had loved so much but had never loathed as much as I did in that moment. “let me in,” he continued, his hips moving against my own as my legs shook uncontrollably. 

The discomfort and pain had been there in the beginning but after a few thrusts and him letting me accommodate his size, the pleasure took over and my body betrayed me. That didn’t help me feel any less violated.

I should have known better. I couldn’t help but blame myself. What did I expect? Allowing myself to go on a date with a man that the entire town called “dono della morte”. Was I so foolish that I thought that we would talk about teddy bears and our favourite cartoon shows? Of course he would expect something in return. Of course he would expect me to give myself to him. And what would there be a need for him to ask? He always took what he wanted. 

I dreadfully opened my eyes before I slowly took in his bedroom, checking beside me on the large custom bed that he wasn’t asleep next to me. I was the only one in the bedroom and I looked to the opposite side of the bedroom, looking out the wall of windows at the sun that shined perfectly in the room and provided the kind of warmth that you would expect in a beautiful and expensive home. 

I couldn’t enjoy anything though; my body hurt. I couldn’t help but grip onto the expensive black sheets in tight fists and shut my eyes tight, crying and letting out all of my fear. I swallowed when I realised that crying wouldn’t help me and I should just leave with whatever that I own. However, the tears didn’t stop. 

I sat upright, looking around with frightened eyes and gripping the sheets to my chest. My hands began to shake and my heart pounded, worried that he would walk back in any second. I looked around the bedroom, feeling like I was seeing it for the first time. It was so dark and empty, almost everything in the bedroom was black yet the furniture was minimal even though the bedroom was three times the size of Alessandro’s three bedroom home. I slowly took the covers off me and looked between my legs, finding myself clean. I remembered him wiping me clean with a warm towel last night, however I had disassociated at that point and had only laid there, staring up at the ceiling.