Us, Through the Seasons

Cold Winter Breeze

"The great marriages are partnerships. It can't be a great marriage without being a partnership." - Helen Mirren

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Ung and I are now lying in our bed with our bodies straight. Like we're on a twin-sized coffin.Why is this so awkward when we've already done it a lot of times before? But somehow, right now... this feels just like a chore that I need to finish quickly.

Suddenly, Ung turned to my side and said, "Yeobo, should we-?"

I nodded, "Okay." Then he raised himself up to a semi-seated position and starts to kiss me on my lips. He removed his shirt after giving me a peck. So I followed by removing mine as well.

This atmosphere was. Unbearable. I'm not excited at all. But let's just try to focus.

He continually kisses me and touches me as we both undress ourselves under our blanket. I can't really focus and find motivation despite the man that I love being on top of me, caressing and kissing me. Then, I remembered why we're even in this situation in the first place. Our fight.

"Then why didn't you even plan to have a family with me? For five long years, you never asked me for a child." I remember yelling at him as if finally, I was able to shout all my pent up frustrations at him.

"Yeon Su, I- Because- you- " he stopped midway with his puzzled expression. But his regretful expression then, finally broke as he smiled ear to ear and said, "Okay, let's try having a child."

So with this in my mind, I made love with Ung. Hoping that we'll finally bear our child.

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After our discussion, we reconciled by deciding to try having our baby. Ofcourse, I was excited. I also thought that a child may be the perfect solution to all those misunderstandings that we had.

It's not like I didn't want to have a child for five long years. It just.... It didn't happen for us yet. I'm not sure but do most people really have children easily? Because that wasn't the case for me and Yeon Su. As for me, I never really thought about it until she asked. Maybe we were just too focused on our own careers and time passed so comfortably for me that I'm not really bothered whether or not we have children. I just enjoy doing nothing and a stressful life isn't for me.

But thinking about it now, I do want to become a great father. I'll make sure my child gets all the love they deserve and he or she never gets abandoned. I'll make sure my child gets to be comfortable and live their life easily.

At first, it was really fun. I mean, we get to do it a lot before too but we do it more often now. And Yeon Su was so motivated. I didn't know that she could be so foxy. But as we go along, I started getting exhausted.

We've been going in and out of the hospital for our check ups. Making sure that we schedule our nights properly. Position ourselves properly. Eat the right food. Drink the right vitamins. I also should get checked and it was the most awkward thing that I ever needed to do in my entire life. But I'm bearing all of it because. I can see that Yeon Su really wants this.

As we go through this process, we also need to keep our promise to Ji-ung so he was filming us from time to time.

"Ung, are you okay?" he asked me one time.

"I'm just.. okay." I answered him.

Ji-ung was staring at me intently as we talk here at my workshop. I was drawing my stress away.