CLOSE BEHIND | F. Hargreeves²

02

TW!: Abuse - somewhat explicit

Mundane life had turned somewhat interesting after Beau's short talk with Jude, they talked more, chatted about their day and what they liked to do. Beau didn't have much to say when the boy asked about his favourite things, however, and Jude was respectful enough to not push an answer out of him, although that also maybe because he was much too nervous around Beau. Red sat amongst Jude's cheeks, blossoming deeper every time Beau began a conversation or laughed at something he said and it made Beau curious if not a little amused by it. Beau guessed he just wasn't one to have regular conversations with people.

Beau couldn't help feeling guilty though, to be sitting there smiling and laughing while Five and the others were out there god knows where. It didn't feel right but Jude looked happier than he had the entire month Beau had been eating at the diner and he didn't want to ruin that. It was like he was at a crossroads.

But he missed Five every single day and it was almost painful. He had gone back to the alleyway at least five times, searched the entire town top to bottom but nothing. Were the siblings all in completely different locations? Completely different years? He sure hoped not, then he would never find any of them and would have to grow old in a place he didn't belong, grow old in a place he could never feel at peace in, always searching. Maybe it was all karma for everything he had done, how he treated Five when he had loved him all along but who could blame him after the way Five treated him when they were children? Beau had no trust for him, not until he was forced to be glued to the boy's side.

"Something bothering you?" Jude questioned, placing down a cup of coffee before Beau, his watercolour showing concern. His hands were dotted with pastel paints, smudged and dry that looked to be half-washed away.

Beau's gaze found Jude quickly, "No- Well, I suppose so."

"It looks painful to think about."

"You'd be right," Beau muttered, taking the mug into his hand and sipping at it. It wasn't that he hated thinking about Five and the rest he just found it hurt too much sometimes, pulling at his heart in a way only lost love could. As cringe and cliche as it sounds, it feels as though a piece of Beau is missing and he had no idea when or if it would ever be returned to him. Black found blue as Beau wondered aloud, "Have you ever been in love, Jude?"

"Wh- uh, me?" Jude stuttered, receiving a simple nod in return, "No, no, I don't think I have."

"You would probably know if you had."

"I guess you're right. Have you been in love?"

Beau took a breath as if ready to confess his life story, bearing the heavyweight on his shoulders, "... I have. We thought we hated each other when we were kids, often very cruel to each other though I tried to ignore them. And then one day they told me... everything and it all just clicked, I realised I loved them back." He recalled all of the memories of his past, good, bad, and everything in between with something akin to nostalgia.

Everything was taken for granted but most things were. Beau had known loss, he had known heartbreak and yet he still didn't understand how to cherish such beautiful things. He, of course, had no idea Five would be ripped away from in the way that he was and he certainly didn't know he would be trapped in a completely different time, one he was forced to adapt to. He couldn't have even known Five would return after all those years of absence. Maybe history was repeating itself, Beau didn't see the good so it would take another seventeen years before he and Five could be together again. Was that fair?

Jude watched Beau battle with himself internally, wanting to pull him away from the turmoil, "What happened to- to them?"

"I don't know. They just disappeared one day and that was it."