Focused Dreams

Chapter 26

I can't fathom how I've gotten to this point in my existence.

How I have this woman in my arms, in my heart, or in my life.

We're still in her room, her bed, after what was probably the best night of my life. The surmountable ways I have been filled up through the night is something new. Something I do not plan to give up, ever. I plan to spend every day and night with this woman. This stunningly wicked woman whom I have forever misjudged, but no more.

Because now as I lay on my side my hand drawing circles on her shoulder blade, having her tucked close to me, and being at peace. At least that's what her even breathing, and closed eyes say to me. That here in my arms, at my side she could feel safe enough to fall asleep.

I'm not saying I've been analyzing her every move or anything, but it was my job to know her every move. So, I know that she hasn't been sleeping well, or maybe at all, which makes this far more important to me than anything.

My hand slowly starts going down, trailing her naked body, memorizing every curve on her body. Feather-light touches so that I don't wake her.

She's so immeasurably beautiful. Her hair is as long as I remember it, reaching her elbow in a straight waterfall fashion, and black like the color of ravens. The long lashes make her eyes seem a little bigger than they really are, and from what she told me that feature is one of the many things she has gotten from her father, so I don't pay attention to them much.

But these. My thumb starts from the very right of her cheek and slowly glides over her nose, where since I'm closer I've noticed hidden freckles, and finishes when it reaches the other cheek. She has always praised them, her rosy red cheeks, because it was the only feature she got from her mother. And that's why those are my favorite part of her. Especially when they turn a beautiful shade of blush pink.

Lucy starts to stir and I halt my movements.

Incoherent words start coming from her mouth, and at first, I start to think she might be having a nightmare, it would explain the lack of sleep, but when a breathy moan escapes her lips, mine can't help but fly up into a smirk.

It seems she too has had a good time if I am now haunting her dreams. Oh, I am enjoying this very much. She falls on her back, her head tilting to the side, leaving her neck open, as she starts breathing heavily. 

I make sure to remember to ask her what she dreamt so I can fulfill her fantasy, as I start to let my finger glide down her naked torso. Imidietly she reacts, arching her back. And just when I think to make her dream a reality, I finally hear her say,

'Teodore.'

It was barely more than a whisper, but it was enough to send a cold wave of shock through my bones. All air was gone from my body. It feels like I just got soccer punched in the gut.

Did I hear her right? Did she just...

'Teodore.' she breathe again more urgently this time.

And that was enough for me to know exactly what to do.

With as much quiet as I could muster, I slipped out of bed and started dressing.

I can't believe this. I can't believe her. After all this time she's still pining for him. Maybe even still in love with him. I feel like an idiot, like the biggest fool on the planet.

I'm so fucking glad that I didn't say anything I would regret. And I am so angry. So fucking angry, at Teodre, at her, and especially at myself. I should have trusted in the facts, in the clear signs that she just wasn't for me. But my heart, my dumb fucking heart, couldn't get the message. Even now it's saying wake her up, make her explain maybe there is a reason, maybe she isn't playing with you.