When November Ends

Chapter 5 "Until then..."

    Yohan was gone the next morning, November 27. He left a note saying he’ll be back later so we can talk, but I don’t think we can. I’m leaving this morning.

    I didn’t sleep. I was up all night listening to my own thoughts, at the same time I’m listening to Yohan who was outside my tent. He’s singing a song whose words I can’t understand. But I felt it, I felt him.

    I think Yohan hardly got any sleep. The spot where we built a fire was still hot. There are embers glowing among the ashes and burned wood. Embers are remains of a fire, smoldering and hot, but no matter how much it tries to keep burning it can’t. It’s already dying.

    While on my way home, I pass by a small hospital on the way, and I thought that’s where Yohan could be working. I stayed for a while, hoping I can catch a glimpse of him.

    Two hours later, I saw his familiar built exiting the hospital. It’s the first time I saw him in his white coat. Yohan looked good in white. What am I saying, he look good in everything.

    Yohan has his usual frown on his face and I laugh at the sight of him. I thought about getting out to say goodbye, but my hand hovered over the handle when I saw how his face brightened at the sight of a girl who’s running towards him.

    My heart squeezed when he welcomed the girl in his arms. Brown, wavy hair and a morena. She’s beautiful even from behind.

    I leaned on my sit then laughed bitterly. “I forgot, it’s still November.”

    Saying goodbye is nothing but a fleeting dream. This might be the last time we’ll see each other again.

    “Ember, you’re back!” Elora enveloped me in a tight hug. Then, I heard small and hurried footsteps rushing towards us.

    “Aunt Ember!” Matthew hugged my legs, and shoved his little face into my knee.

    “Matthew, there’s my big boy,” I cooed and carried him in my arms. I blew him raspberries which made him giggle and squirm under my hold.

    Elora and Matthew welcomed me to the house, both are buzzing excitedly about my arrival and how much they missed me, especially Matthew. He was telling me ‘nonstop’ how I should’ve been here with him. Listening to his stories made me feel guilty for leaving, but there’s nothing I can do about them now. I can only make it up to him.

    “You look sad,” he suddenly says. He’s staring at me.

    “I’m not sad, Matthew. Look,” I smiled widely, thinking I can trick him but Matthew is a smart kid. He quickly saw through it.

    “Don’t you want to be with me, Aunt Ember?”

    I quickly came to his side. “No, Matthew. Aunt Ember’s just... going through some stuff.”

    Matthew encircled his small arms around my neck. Then, I heard him sniffing and felt him shaking while he’s leaning against me.

    “Aunt Ember and mommy shouldn’t be sad. I want you both to be happy.”

    I felt something cold spilling into my heart until they pooled to my eyes. It made me wander over the time when Elora was too broken to face Matthew. Even at times we acted tough, Matthew had seen through our masks and felt our pain.

    I feel so bad that Matthew had to get through this. It’s supposed to be the adults’ problem, but he felt that he should also be responsible. Matthew thought he’s responsible for our happiness.

    “Matthew, baby,” I pulled away so I can look at his eyes that were brimming with tears. “Don’t worry about Aunt Ember and mommy. We’re going to be fine.”